An overdue update

I haven't blogged since September 25th, which blogger promintely dispalyed on my login page, as if to shame me from being away for so long.

In my defense, work has been insane. Which is my fault - 100% - because I agreed to take on an additional class, which means I have no prep period, which means I have 5 academic classes plus Journalism (yearbook and the magazine) AND I was crazy and signed up to advise a few clubs (um, 5).

So I brought this craziness all on myself, and it's kept me busy. Really busy. In fact this weekend I finally finished grading essays that I had the kids turn in October 15th. Eep! I still have a giant stack of grading, but I feel good that at least those essays are done.

Finals are in two weeks. Le Sigh. I will enjoy Winter Break.

The good thing is that all of my students this year are wonderful. I really do mean this. Yeah, some of them are obnoxious at times, but they're teenagers. I do love being a teacher, even if the job is the most stressful job I have ever had.

The real reason of this post wasn't to talk about work, although that happens a lot with me lately. I can't seem to shut up about work... the point of this post was to chronicle what has happened in the lives of the kids since I took my unintentional blog hiatus.

Let's start with the youngest.

Griffin goes to school 3x a week and started to like it mid-September. His behavioral reports are always good and his report card for the 1st trimester (which I think is hilarous and adorable) was exemplary. He does well, he behaves well, he's energetic. Pretty much sums up the moster.

He's lost most of his lisp/stutter and talks up a STORM. Between the two of them it's a miracle B or I ever get to talk. Our dog, Harley-Quinn, is his very best friend, but I'm not 100% sure if she feels the same way.

The tantrums one normally expects of a 3 1/2 year old are becoming less frequent - which is awesome. Looking back, the Terrible Twos and Terrorist Threes were pretty tame compared to the stories I've heard of these ages. Insisting that he use his words to express his frusrtrations has started to bear fruit and he's much better and talking about why he's upset instead of just disolving into tears.

He's grown a lot. In 5T and some of his 5T clothes are starting to get a little short. Which is insane because we just bought him clothes. He's not quite as tall as Sissy, but on occasion people will ask if they're twins.

He's still a big snuggler and asks for snuggles all the time. And while he does spend a few nights a week in his own bed, most nights he crawls in with us anywhere from 3-6am.

Penelope

She is growing up too fast. She'll be 5 on Thursday. She lost one tooth in October and another two are loose. She's in size 7. She reads. READS.

We had her parent-teacher conference a few weeks ago and she knows 34 of the 100 1st grade sight words - the words 1st graders are supposed to know at the end of 1st grade. Thirty four.

She'll sound out words and read signs, books, and my text messages. She would still prefer to sit upstairs and read (or color) rather than go outside and run around. She is defintely my daughter.

Her teacher also said that Penelope is a very enthusiastic learner: "Sometimes very bright children will get bored, but Penelope is always so excited for whatever it is we are doing in class, she loves to learn."

And she's really social - she knows the names of her friend's parents and will greet them when she gets to school or on the way out. She loves everyone, they're all friends she hasn't met yet. And her memory is crazy - she remembers what she wore to Griffin's brithday party in April. She remembers playing with friends she hasn't seen in over a year. She remembers things I promised and forgot (which, boo).

I am planning on having her do the 20 birthday questions - last years are here.

In other news, I ran my first 5K and didn't die. I didn't walk or throw up either. Woot! My time was something like 39 minutes, so I ran the slowest 5K in the history of 5Ks. My next scheduled 5K is in March, running it with my Journalism kids.

The back tattoo is in progress. I have the outline and a little over 1/4 of color done. It hurts, a lot, but I love it.

And I think that's it. I'm sure I'm missing a ton of things, but I should probably get to all of that grading I have. The pile is staring at me accusingly right now.

At a Fork

Not a literal fork, mind you. But in a lot of ways we (as a family) are at a big turning point. Some of it hinges around job stuff, some of it hinges around milestones, and all of it is happening both too quickly and too slowly.

The kids are first.

With Griffin day potty trained and 70% night trained, we're completely done with diapers and pull ups. It's all undies all the time. This makes our changing table pretty useless; right now it's housing a rather large pile of stuff I should deal with but don't want to.

Our baby isn't a baby. He's not even a toddler. He's a pre-schooler. He's writing his name, speaking in large and complex sentences, and becoming increasingly independent. This is a huge transition that really snuck up on me. I feel like one minute I had a baby and now I have two kids.

Griffin wearing my wedding ring. It fits his finger. I must have skeletal fingers...

Griffin is even spending less and less time in our bed. Which is mostly good because he's enormous and is a bed hog.

At his last pediatrician appointment he was 3 feet 5.25 inches. All his 3T stuff is pitifully short and his 4T pants are starting to look more like highwaters every day. I'm going to have to start buying him 5T clothes. He just turned 3.

Sissy isn't any better. Child is outgrowing her 6s and we'll have to buy 7s for the fall. SEVENS. She's FOUR.

Does she look 4 to you???

This week she started acting camp after her 3rd dance recital (good gracious, really - 3?!). And she has a performance on Friday. After this camp, she can start participating in some of the children's theater's normal productions. Based on how much she loves camp thusfar, that's going to be a reality for us. Soon I'll have to schlep her to regular rehearsals in addition to ballet and possibly basketball (she asked to join a basketball team, I think she's got another year before she's eligible).

Besties.

If all goes as planned she'll start Transitional Kinder in the fall. She's getting taller by the second (and has regular growing pains, usually it's "mama, my leg bones hurt") and isn't gaining much weight - so she's pretty gangly.  I had to take in her recital costume because it was way too wide and I have a feeling my sewing machine is going to get lots of use as she gets older.

I am glad she's busy - making friends, having fun, exploring... I wish there were as many opportunities for the Bubs, but 3 is a hard age for extra curriculars. This summer I'll try and sign them up for swim lessons, but he won't get to do too much until soccer starts up.

I love this picture. They're sharing wearing Bryan's backpack. They really do share everything.

My babies becoming kids makes my ovaries ache. And while I really, really, really want to try for #3 ASAP (as in yesterday), we're really not in a place to make that happen. Another baby would also mean another 4+ years of childcare (we can see the light at the end of the tunnel now) in addition to all the other challenges that come with newborns and babies.

There are also a lot of really wonderful things that come with babies. Both Penelope and Griffin have asked for more siblings and babies are loves - I miss the loves. We just have to decide if all the benefits of expanding our family outwiegh the challenges and then: when could we reasonably add to the family without sacrificing more than we can afford?

Thank goodness for reliable birth control (thanks Planned Parenthood!!!!!)

There's a lot I want to do with my career. I'm taking some of the steps toward that now. Having another baby wouldn't prevent those career moves, but they would significantly delay them. I'm young, so I have time to become Empress of the World. But I still haven't decided if my career timeline or my family planning timeline triumphs.

There is always adoption - and we haven't ruled that out. If that's the route we decide to go, then we'll have to wait a few more years. We need a slightly larger place and it would be nice to have the big kids in school full time before we add a toddler into our lives (because if we adopt we'd like to adopt a toddler or a pre-schooler).

So there are options. And there's time. But if you know me or if you've been reading my blog regularly then you know that I'm not the "wait and see" type. I have to be for this, but it is sometimes frustrating to not know what I want and then not know the best way to get there.

The other fork in our road is job related, but not mine. Nothing is set in stone so I don't want to jinx anything (yes Neil deGrasse Tyson, I know I know), but Bryan does have some possible opportunities on the horizon that are both exciting (because yea change!) and scary (because boo change!). They are 90% exciting. The 10% scary has more to do with not knowing exactly how things are going to pan out rather than scary about the specific change.

I COULD be more vague, but I'll spare you.

Suffice it to say, this will be an eventful summer.

Speaking of which, I have 80% of tomorrow's summer lesson plan completed. Time to finish the rest.

My students are awesome

Although my 4th period class is trying to kill me.

My theory is that they're so hungry, since 4th is right before lunch, that they can't focus due to lack of nutrition. They're also pretty chatty, but they're not nearly as chatty as 1st period. I think all of my 1st period students are only capable of breathing if they're talking. If they stay quiet for too long they might all perish from oxygen deprivation. 2nd period is perfect, except for the 3 gentlemen who sit poliety in class and do absolutely nothing unless I'm standing next to them.

IlovemyjobIlovemyjobIlovemyjobIlovemyjob

Actually, I DO love my job. All of the behavior I see in my classes is pretty typical of teenagers. And while I certainly do correct inappropriate behavior, I can't get too mad that teenagers act like teenagers. It would be like getting upset at a 2 year old for throwing a tantrum. That's what they DO. They're just still learning. Getting mad is pretty much useless.

But my purpose in writing this blog wasn't to discuss my student's inability to shut up. It was to highlight how wonderful they are. Here's the proof:

(BTW, this is partner work, they have to do this on their own next week. Using the GRR model, it took 3 days to get to this place. But I'm quite happy with "this place")

Friar Lawrence describes the sunrise and how it's similar to a drunkard's vision when he says "and fleckled darkness like a drunkard reels" (2.3.3). This simile foreshadows events in the play because it implies that something dark is going to happen yet with something light shining out of it. The simile demonstrates how the ending of the feud is similar to the light dimly shinning through the dark that is the death of Romeo and Juliet.

Friar Lawrence describes the sunrise and the darkness filled with spots of light when he says "and fleckled darkness like a drunkard reels" (2.3.3). This simile foreshadows future events in the play because he's trying to say that even in the dark, there will always be light (hope). The simile demonstrates how even when Romeo & Juliet die, there is will always be hope for both families.

 Friar Lawrence describes the sunlight barely coming out at dawn when he says "and fleckled darkness like a drunkard reels" (2.3.3). This simile demonstrates tragedy in the play becuase the long hatred between the two families will be disturbed by the new love of Romeo and Juliet. The simile foreshadows tragedy because the sunrise represents the possibility of a new thing coming out of the darkness.

These are, obviously, not perfect. But they're a really wonderful start. Students are starting to really THINK about what this poetic language means, not just what it describes. So the three days to get here was worth it.

Sometimes I write poetry

I used to write a lot. I had various nicknames in high school that referenced my affinity for poetry (and Edgar Allan Poe) and that's perhaps why one of Sissy's nicknames is Poe (although I'm the only one that calls her that... I'm the only one that calls her a lot of things and now that I think about it, the poor child has a ridiculous number of nicknames.)

Anyway, I wrote a poem about Griffin and you can find a link to it here as it's on my 'author' blog and not my 'mommy' blog. Since the poem is about the wee babe (say that with a Scottish accent) I figured it belonged on both blogs.

Briefly speaking of the novel, I haven't written anything since mid-November in spite of my personal pledge to write over break. While I could probably use the gallbladder surgery as an excuse as to why I didn't write a word, it's actually because I had forgotten I'd started a novel in the first place. Oops.

It will be finished one day. Just not any day soon. This now gives me the opportunity to say "Oh yes, I'm in the process of writing a novel" at parties, which is something I've always wanted to say. Not really. But now I CAN say it, so I will. Apparently one of my New Years Resolutions was to become a pretentious bit *ahem* person.

Poetry has been on my mind recently because Monday begins my student's poetry project (woot!) and this year I've titled it "Rodgers' Ridiculous Rhyming Requirement" although only one poem requires rhyme. I like alliteration.

The students have to write a free verse, ode, and a poem using a rhyme scheme (of their choice). Each poem has secondary requirements like alliteration, allusion, assonance, symbol, metaphor, etc. It basically gives them the opportunity to create/work with the lit devices I've been teaching them since the beginning of the school year. Sounds fun, right? It all culminates in a 9th grade-wide poetry SLAM which is actually (hopefully) going to take place between all 9th grade English classes. Fun?? Yes!

And for more fun, here's a short list of all the names I have for Penelope:
Pen, Poe, Miss, Miss Moo, Sissy, Squishy, Squisherella (think Cinderella), Delpi, Sweets, Lovey, Squisher-oo, Baby Girl, Girl Child, Robot Pen, and Princess Pea.

There are probably more.

Here are Griffin's: G, G-Funk, Dude, Bubs, Sir Bubs-a-Lot, Bubby, Bubba, Boy Child, Griffideon, Baby Bubs (used around my brother, since my brother is Big Bubs), Duders.

Here's Bryan's: B

Poor Bryan. I need more names for him.

No time, you get this

Things are i.n.s.a.n.e. in the Rodgers household.

Mostly because I don't think I really grasped just how many meetings teachers are required to attend. There are even more your first year (although heaven forbid you become Dept Chair b/c you have a crazy # of meetings then). I literally have meetings twice a week. At least. Some at lunch, some afterschool. Today I had two. Tomorrow I have one. Tomorrow is also Back To School Night. Friday I have one. Oh! I forgot, I have two tomorrow since I have one before school AND at lunch.

Now, approx 25% of these meetings are my fault... i.e. I called them. And it's because I'm meeting with counselors/intervention specialists/SPED aids/students to work with those who are falling behind. I know, it's only week 3 (4?) but there are a few students who already need to play catch up. I want that to happen NOW instead of December 1st. So I bring a bit of this on myself.

The rest of the meetings are required but MOST of them are productive. So at least something is being accomplished or I'm discussing events/information that is relevant/directly impacts my teaching practice or my students. So thank goodness for those kinds of meetings... because I've been in useless meetings and they make me want to pull out my hair.

In kid-related news, I have decided that our children are geniuses. GENIUSES. Griffin can point to #s 1-9. He also has about 10 signs and 3 spoken words. And other than the fact that he's still not sleeping through the night and can throw a tantrum which can be seen from space, he's the sweetest boy child I have ever known. I'm totally unbiased.

I'm actually pretty impressed with his number recognition skills. I need to work on letters.

Penelope recites books from memory. Not joking. If she's NOT reading by her 4th birthday I'll be shocked. I wouldn't be surprised if she read much sooner than that. She can't throw a ball (she throws it behind her) but she'll read very early. Since she is my child, no one should be surprised. Bryan might argue that I still cannot throw a ball. (He'd be wrong. I can throw. Just not accurately or with any distance.)

Let's see... what else?

Poe has taken to saying "be careful with my body" when she is being roughhoused (is that a form of that word? Is it a verb or noun? Meh, whatever). It's pretty funny. I've taken to saying it as well, it's a good phrase.

Weaning is going ok. We nurse once a day - usually at 4am. I'm hoping that soon we'll give that one up (because hopefully he'll soon be sleeping at 4am). He's getting better with sleep as long as I'm NOT the one to put him to bed. Stinker.

Daycare is going well, the kids still like Stephanie and she's been teaching them Spanish and phonics. I'm glad it's working out... just one less thing to worry about.

Bryan is still working, the house is good, we're all ok. We had a fever scare last week that landed us in the ER but everyone is better. I turn 30 in 13-ish days (eep!) and will hopefully spend the weekend before my birthday on the beach.

More later. Maybe. Probably. I've been neglecting the blog and haven't been posting as often in some of my forums. I will be giving at least one up, I just don't have the time... and when I do have downtime I really need to spend it sleeping or spending as much time with B and the kids as I can. From what I have heard from many experienced teachers is that you need to find balance or else you burn out quickly. I'd like to retire as a teacher so I need to start pacing myself.

I'll start next week. Next week is better for that. M'kay?

Refreshed

This weekend was truly wonderful - for a lot of reasons, mostly though it was because we were able to spend so much time together as a family. Last weekend we were still so busy unpacking, the weekend before was the move, and prior to that I was working at HLC at least day each weekend so we only had one day during the weekend to be all together. Bryan's been swamped too, so he's been spending as much time as possible working. This weekend, while he and I both did a little bit of work (him more than me), we spent a lot of time doing fun (and free!) family activities.

But before I get into the weekend (with pictures!) I wanted to talk about daycare. Friday was the kids' first day in daycare and it went really, really well. Stephanie said they were great and Poe had such a good time that she didn't want to leave. She actually asked me twice this weekend to go play at Stephanie's house, so I think daycare is a hit. I'm sure both kids will have days when they don't want to go, but we've found a good fit I think. This week will be their full week in daycare and I don't really foresee any problems. So that's nice.

On to the weekend!

Friday night after picking the kids up we headed back to campus for the Freshman mixer. I saw a lot of my students, met a parent, and the kids got to play with some other teacher/admin toddlers. My principal has a daughter a month younger than Poe (and a baby boy that's due any day) and the activities director has a daughter the same age as the principal's daughter. The girls seemed to have a really good time together. Penelope was wearing her Princess crown, so one of the little girls kept calling her Princess... as in "hey Princess! Come here Princess!" So cute.

Saturday G and I woke up early and took a mommy/son trip to Seaside for teacher appreciation day at Staples. It was nice to spend some time with him one on one and I think he enjoyed it as well. Afterward B and I talked about the beach or the Aquarium, but decided to get a small start on the backyard. Our backyard is basically an L shaped dirt run. Not super wide, but not super narrow. Semi divided in two. All dirt.

Since we live in the "salad bowl" I decided that I'd really like to start a garden. We're not planning on being in this place for years, but I know almost nothing about gardening and so am considering this my starter garden. When we own a place out here a few years down the line then my experiences with this garden will help me design my permanent garden.

So we picked a spot and got to digging. The plot will end up being 13' x 6' - so not huge, but decent sized. We got rid of all the top soil (like my handy dandy gardening for dummies website suggested) and did a bit of tilling. It took a little while to get the soil removed so we didn't till it all. We'll probably rent a small roto tiller in a couple of weeks and get the rest done. We're also considering putting sod on one side of the yard so we have a place to come out and sit/play, but I don't want to get too ambitious.

After lunch and naps we unpacked the office (finally). We also did an early dinner/bath so we could all watch a movie together downstairs. It was a nice homebody day. At one point Bryan took Penny for a bike ride and I took Griffin and the dog for a walk, but in general we stayed at home and just enjoyed being together.

Sunday we were more ambitious. The beach topped our list, followed by shopping, lunch, naps, a bike ride to the grocery store, dinner, the park, and finally baths and bed. Here's some beach pictures.










Ok, so this picture has to be explained... Griffin was digging trenches with his head. Yes, you read that right. I have no idea why. I have some video, will upload it later



So yeah, we had fun. Penelope was all about running up and down the beach. She ran with Harley and I for awhile and then ran for a long stretch with Bryan and Harley - that child loves to run. She also loves the beach, who can blame her?

Griffin and I buried each others feet and I made sand castles that he knocked over. He was all about immersing himself in the sand.

Neither child was brave enough to put their toes in the ocean :) I was! And Harley, of course, she loves the beach more than all of us combined.

I wish I had more pictures of the park, but we were too busy having fun. The kids spent some time in the swings, I swung... we played tag as a family, we climbed on the playground equipment. The park itself is small, but I LOVE having a park less than 2 blocks away. The library is also super close, less than a block. And I bike to school, it's only 1.5 blocks away. Love.

We did some light grocery shopping as well, just enough to fit in the back of the bike trailer. It is wonderful that I can take the kids to the grocery store on my bike. It is amazing that I can go days without getting into a car.

I do wish our daycare provider lived a little closer so I could ride my bike, but alas she does not. She's on the other side of town and while I could technically ride my bike, parts of that ride are just not safe for cyclists. Oh well. Even with that daily ride, we haven't had to put gas in the car since 8/5, which is a record for us.

Tomorrow starts the first full week of school and I feel ready. I still have some planning to do for the week and a few copies to make in the morning, but I feel rejuvenated and ready to tackle my 6th period... I thought 6th period last year was an anomaly of energetic and... challenging kids, but apparently that's just 6th period. My group this year is a level up from last year's group (and I mean a level up in challenge). Things should get even more interesting when they shuffle schedules around after this next round of placement testing (long story). But I'm ready for them. Bring it on LAD B!

Day One: Check

I survived day 1.

And it actually went pretty well. There were some pitchy spots, but nothing went wrong and by the third class I had my rhythm down and was much more comfortable and had a lot more fun. The kids did too, the first day is always a combination of fear and boredom for a lot of students - especially Freshmen. And I have A LOT of Freshman.

I haven't decided if this means our Principal likes me or hates me ;)

Moving around wasn't fun, but it worked as well as it could have. I have a few things to add to my rolling cart to make things a bit easier and it helps that the teachers I share classrooms with are all great to work with. We all teach 9th grade English at some point in our days, so we're working on closely pacing our classrooms and using similar materials so that we can maximize our time and energy (among other things). Our school is really big on PLCs (professional learning communities) and I am embracing the collaboration. It's great to have common pacing and curriculum guides so that we're a more cohesive department and all of our students needs are met. I was lucky enough to have worked at a PLC based school for my student teaching as well. In fact, my mentor teachers at ML are so super collaborative that they've offered to share materials with me even though I'm not on their site. They are teh awesome.

So yes, day one is complete.

Day two and day three are going to be pretty standard across the board and (unfortunately) not very exciting. Procedures need to be explained and mandatory testing needs to be done so we can get it out of the way and move on to the fun stuff. Next week should be much more exciting for the students - and for myself - as I get to delve into the short stories and start teaching lessons with GRR & CM (Gradual Release of Responsibility and Constructing Meaning). I'll get fully trained in both this year, but I've gotten the teaser training and some plans. It's pretty great stuff - google it if you want to know more.

I'll try and post more about each specific class later... but I have some organizational stuff to do and I'd love to get to bed before 10. Even though this is a short school week, it's a busy one!

Oh, and the kids start daycare on Friday - next week we're full time, but our first day is Friday. We were lucky enough to find a home daycare run by someone I really, really like. I got a great vibe from her and I think the kids will do well. Her set-up isn't ideal (apartment complex) but Bryan, the kids, and I all liked her, she's bilingual (which I LOVE), and the kids will interact with children their own age and a bit older. It's not set up like a preschool, but that will come eventually. Poe will actually be in preschool next year so that will be another fun hunt.

I do want to write a post on weaning since I'm thinking about starting that process. I have some seriously conflicting feelings that all seem to depend on which way the wind is blowing. Seriously. I love breastfeeding, but this weaning business sucks.

The First Day of School

Is tomorrow. Although if you're reading this on Facebook then it already happened since FB doesn't usually update the blog feature quickly. Anyway. For me, as I type this, the first day of school is tomorrow.

My mom asked me if I was excited. I don't know if that's the right word. Overwhelmed isn't the right word either. My Principal is excited. I know a few teachers who are overwhelmed and one who is slightly terrified.

Me? I feel... purposeful. I'm a good teacher, one day I'd like to be a great teacher. I work at it, I adjust, I get feedback, I am flexible, I am organized, I apparently love the comma. I have been presented with a challenge that has been complicated by sharing three rooms instead of just having one classroom. But I've done that before, so it's not like I can't handle the logistics.

I can do this. I'm just ready.

Well, except for my seating charts... and definite textbook check-out days for LAD B... and emergency sub plans... and Monday warm-ups... and...

But tomorrow? Yeah, I got this.

So I'm ready. Prepared. Focused.

Excited? Not really. I'm not unexcited. I think, perhaps, in order to get to the emotion of excited you have to be able to have all the details in place or be able to ignore or gloss over the details - which is difficult for me to do. So I don't really get excited very often, I just get busy organizing or planning.

Speaking of which, I need to organize my briefcase & pack my lunch so I have less to do in the morning. Since the remote hook-up to the student database is currently glitchy on my end, I need to get in early and mess with my seating charts... and double check to make sure my copies are in my box. And and and...

Being a teacher is a lot like being a mom. You're never really done.

Prep Period

Third period is my prep and I have a few minutes to blog before I need to do some planning/grading.

So lets talk about sleep, shall we? On the adivce of my midwives I gave Griffin a half of a homeopathic sleep aid two nights ago. It worked, he slept past his normal 12am wake-up time. However not being woken up actually woke up Bryan. When he went to check on G, G was cold and B couldn't tell if he was breathing, so B got a bit panicky. Griffin was fine, he had just kicked off his blankets. B woke him up and fed him and then brought him into bed.

I didn't know any of this until the next day - that night I was sound asleep. And I felt wonderful the next day... B not so much.

So last night we didn't give G the homeopathic tablet. He woke up a few times before 11pm and I was able to pat him back to sleep. Then *I* woke up at 1:30am paranoid that he wasn't awake and went in to check on him. He was fine. I recovered him and went back to bed. Griffin finally woke up at 3 and Bryan fed him and then brought him into bed at 4. G nursed until 6 when I got up for the day and he woke up for the day at 6:45 or so.

Still undecided if we're going to use the tablets again tonight. Although now we know Griffin is capable of sleeping from 8-ish until 3-ish. This is wonderful news and it hopefully means that soon he'll be down to one waking a night and I can just nurse him, cut out the bottle, and Bryan won't have to get up anymore. I can handle one waking - heck, I can handle a nurse-a-thon from 3am-6am if I get uninterrupted sleep from 9:30 (when I go to bed) and 3am.

More sleep will certainly help with the PPD, my attitude and coping skills are 1,000x better when I have adequate sleep.

But I still have a metric ton of stuff I need to accomplish in the next month and it's becoming very, very overwhelming.

There are a TON of hoops the State of CA makes potential teachers jump through before you're credentialed. I don't necessarily have a problem with the process (although some of it is redundant and unnecessary), I have a problem with the time commitment since I HAVE NO TIME. I have Touchpoint papers to grade, lessons to plan, grade checks for failing students, tutoring hours for AVID students, a paper for my seminar class, TPA 3 & 4, a computers class (I can test out of it, but I need to take the test), a credentialing appointment to make, PLUS a Dr's appt for Griffin, arranging family pictures, planning P's birthday, and so. much. more.

I barely have my head above water. I am so stressed out right now it isn't funny. It's effecting my work, school, my relationship with my kids, husband, and family.

But at least I got enough sleep last night. So there are things to celebrate.

Today is not my friend

I got laid off today. Lets just say I'm not in a very happy place right now. Merry Christmas, right?

Leaving my baby...

So today was the first time that I have left Penelope alone for a significant period of time. When she was a little over two weeks old my grandma came over and watched her for 45 minutes while I went grocery shopping, but as that was under an hour it doesn't really count as a significant period of time. Today is different, I have been away from my baby for a little over two hours and counting... I didn't realize how much I would miss her, even though the break is a little refreshing.

I cried when I left the house; I think Bryan thought I was a little crazy.

I'm not going to be gone for all that long, the kids are almost done with their homework (I'm blogging in-between answering questions - and I have to confess that 8th grade science is not my favorite subject, however 8th grade history is awesome). So if this blog is disjointed in its narrative it's because I keep stopping to check homework and once I've come back I've lost my train of thought.

Anyway... where was I?

Oh! Missing my baby... I should probably stop thinking about it, it's just going to make me cry again. Although I think a good 1/4 of my tears are guilt driven; there's a part of me that missed the freedom, and the rest of me is no longer talking to that part of me - that part of me is, for all intensive purposes, dead to the rest of me.

I was attempting humor... I don't think it worked.

I really hope Bryan and I get some sleep tonight.

No rest for the weary

I think the only person in our household that got decent sleep last night was Penelope.

Instead of our normal 2 1/2 to 3 hours stretches of sleep, Penny was awake (and hungry!) every 1 1/2 hours. Since it takes a good half hour to get settled and go back to sleep after she's fallen asleep, this means I got an hour of sleep in-between feedings. Luckily Bryan does the second shift, so I was able to get a little more sleep, but I still woke up when she started getting fussy. Poor Bryan didn't get much sleep either since he had to be at work at 7am today.

At one point I fell asleep on the couch while Penny was in the swing - I was too tired to walk & pat her to sleep so I put her in the swing and passed out on the couch. B woke me up awhile later and put us back to bed - but she was awake and hungry again in an hour...

So since sleep was a problem last night I have canceled all of my plans for the day. We were going to go to our weekly New Moms Support Group, but it starts at 10:30 and I don't have the energy to get us both ready in time. I could show up late, but I'm not so keen on leaving the house. I'm also not going to take her to work with me - Bryan should be home in time to take her and I can drop her off at my parent's house if B doesn't make it home in time. She was fussy on Monday (which was probably because we made a formula switch - I won't do that again!) and while I don't think the kids minded, it was a little too much for me. I'll probably occasionally bring her with me, but not until we have a "normal" wake/sleep schedule - otherwise it's just too much.

I have to admit, that while I want to spend as much time as possible with Penny, a part of me is looking forward to a couple of hours sans baby - even if it is work *lol*. I love being a mom, but almost 5 weeks without a real break is beginning to wear me down... Even when other people are holding/feeding her, I'm still there - and so still "on". Don't get me wrong, Bryan is very hands on and we've gotten a lot of help from family & friends, but there's something about being a mom that makes it impossible to really rest/relax while in the presence of your baby. Maybe that's just me.

Ok, baby is asleep and I think I'm going to try and take a nap.

The move from LiveJournal

So I made the switch from LiveJournal to Blogspot! (All previous LJ posts are available at http://rodgersfamily.livejournal.com).

The switch was made mainly because this blogging site allows more options than the free version of LJ. I could have upgraded my LJ account, but I wasn't ready to pay for my blog.

On to more interesting things (well, interesting to me).

Today we visited Granny K (my mom) at her office to show off Penelope to all the ladies. Miss Penelope had a wonderful time (which means she was fed and held, which is really all it takes to make her happy). I'd wager that my mom had an even better time seeing as she held Penny the whole time and got to brag about her granddaughter :)

After the visit, Penny and I went to Target to pick up a few things and attempt to find me some jeans that would fit during this "transition" period - while I'm losing pregnancy weight. I wish I could say we had success, but I just didn't like anything they had there. I'm very, very picky with clothing in general and jeans in particular. Plus it's depressing to try on jeans that are 2-3 sizes larger than what I was wearing this time last year. Odds are my hips are never going to return to "normal" even if I lose every pound of pregnancy weight, so I may never fit into my wonderful, lovely, and amazing '7' and 'Hudson' jeans again... *cry*

Oh well, Penelope was worth it.

Update on Bryan's work-drama - well, no real news actually, they're still not quite sure how much the bookkeeper embezzled. And now that the boss-lady is tightening the company's belt, B has to be in to work at 7am on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays. For those of you who know Bryan well, this is not an easy thing. My darling, wonderful husband is NOT a morning person. I think I'll go get him a Starbucks card so he can get a latte every morning. Poor thing. Although he takes the second feeding shift at night, which is usually around 4:30 am, so he'll be able to get ready to work after Penny's eaten.