Isadora Claire's Birth Story

Little sissy is 14 days old, so I guess it's time I wrote out her birth story.

She was due 3.14.15 and I had been having intermittent contractions for about a week before her due date. Her due date came and went, just like my contractions. It was frustrating to say the least. At 40 weeks 5 days I visited an acupuncturist to try and get things to start up for realsies. While it was very relaxing, it didn't jump start active labor like I had hoped. At 41 weeks 1 day I opted for some interventions - a membrane sweep, pressure points, and some other things.

At 41 weeks 2 days I was having contractions (painful ones) every 10 minutes. I figured it was more of the same - I had been having irregular contractions for 2 weeks and painful irregular contractions for for a few days. Bryan and I took the kids to a park, went out for lunch, and then headed home to hang out. I had planned to take a walk around the block, but at 2:30ish I felt a pop and a gush.

My water had broken - the first time in all three pregnancies/labors that I had actually felt my water break.

Bryan called the midwives and they advised him to fill up the tub and, if I had the baby before they got there, to keep the baby low until they could be there. I think that freaked him out a little.

Luckily for him, they got there in plenty of time. They arrived, set up, and I got in the tub as quickly as I could as my contractions ramped up in terms of spacing and intensity.

And it was intense. This was not my first rodeo, so I thought I knew what I was in for... but this was the only labor that caused me to curse - more than once - and in which I felt like I had to be done soon because I was having a hard time tolerating the contractions. I have been told I "sing" my babies out, but this one was more of a yelling this baby out.

From water breaking to baby's exit was 3.5 hours. It felt like this labor took the entirety of Penelope's 8 hour labor and squeezed it into 3.5 hours. It.Hurt.A.Lot.

But it was over pretty quickly.

And then she was here. The big kids were able to be in the room to see her birth (they were there on and off for the labor), and I pulled her out. Although owing to some crossed legs, exhaustion post labor, and swollen girly-bits, I actually thought she was a boy at first.

We were discussing names (and my mom started calling relatives) when I decided to re-check and discovered my error. Oops!

After that, names were easy. She looks so much more like an Isadora than a Gwendolyn.

Breastfeeding was good at first, then rocky, and now we seem to be back on track. I'm on domperidone, we have some donated milk, and she's gaining again after losing slightly over 10% of her birth weight. She has a pediatrician appt tomorrow, so hopefully we continue to see gains.

At this point she's our best sleeper (knock on wood) and I usually get a few 3 hour stretches at night before we settle in for a nurse-a-thon.

The big kids adore her and have adjusted well so far. They fight over who gets to refill my water or bring me my nursing pillow and they both like to read to her or snuggle up with us while she nurses.

I'm still doing most things one handed since she still insists on being held and won't sleep well unless she's close to someone. But that's to be expected, she's only 2 weeks old.

I'll try and post pictures soon, there are a lot on Facebook and even more on Instagram... but here's one to tide y'all over.

What Not to Say to Someone Who is Overdue

Today I am 41 weeks pregnant. I can't think of anyone who is pleased with this, but least of all me. I've been getting a lot of texts, Facebook messages, e-mails, and general questions from a lot of people. All of them mean well. But a lot of these messages and texts do more to frustrate than to actually help - I know it's not their intention, but it is what it is.

Hence this post.

So, as a public service announcement (or really, just for my own sanity), here are some things that I recommend you do NOT say to a woman who is a week (or more) overdue.

1. How are you feeling?
This question, while sounding innocuous, is unintentionally frustrating. Why? Because we don't feel good. We are tired, frustrated, & possibly angry. We likely ache. It's possible we're having really uncomfortable or painful contractions but still aren't in labor, which is pretty much a horrible feeling. We feel betrayed by our bodies and possibly the baby. We're worried that something is wrong. We are hormonal- really, REALLY hormonal. Did I mention how tired we are?

It's not a good feeling. And so we'll smile and say "fine" out of social obligation, but we're not fine and we don't really want to be reminded about how NOT FINE we are.

What should you say?
Good morning, good afternoon, you're soooooo good looking (bonus points to those who get the allusion), or really anything other than how are you feeling...

EXCEPT
2. That baby still isn't out yet?
Um, no f***ing duh. Obvious people state the obvious.

I seriously wonder if people are thinking when they say this to me. It's obnoxious. Don't ever say that. Ever. To anyone.

What should you say?
It's so nice to see you.

3. When is the baby going to come?
Lemme just get out my crystal ball or, better yet, check the meat thermometer I have pushed into my side.

The baby is not a Thanksgiving turkey, we cannot tell you when it will be done. I promise, we are not keeping it in there just to annoy you (although at this point, there are some people that have been so unintentionally annoying that if I could control when this baby was born I might just keep it in another day... no, actually, I wouldn't do that because see question #1).

That question is not helping. At all. So please stop.

What should you say?
Actually nothing. Just say nothing if this is your go-to.

4. Almost there!
Again, not helpful. Why? Because you don't know. At 41 weeks we could go another week before we get a baby. A week when you're overdue feels like a month. And the prospect of facing another 7 days of being tired, sore, hormonal, irritable, and plain miserable is not "almost there" - it is, in fact "hell on earth."

What should you say?
Would you like some chocolate?

5. (via text or e-mail or phone call) I hadn't heard anything, have you had the baby?
If we'd had the baby the world would know. It would have been posted to every social media platform know to mankind. We would have Lion King'ed that baby from the top of the tallest mountain. You would have gotten a text or a phone call.

No news means NO NEWS. You, and the 600 other people who are waiting are not nearly as impatient for this baby as we are and we are not prepared to spend our day sending out text blasts or constant social media updates to tell everyone that NOTHING IS HAPPENING. Because nothing is happening and we're significantly more upset about it that anyone else on the planet. Having to be reminded that nothing is happening by well meaning people is really, really frustrating.

And I know that all these people mean well. They love us, they love this baby, they are just excited and/or concerned and they want to reassure themselves that mom & baby are ok. I get that. I know it comes from a place of love. But while the intentions are purely good, the reality is that these notes don't really do much to help and can actually be hurtful because after the 100th message of the day we are more upset than we were after the 1st.

I will say that there are women who welcome these messages. It makes them feel good to be on someone's mind. I am not one of those people. There are a small handful of people from whom these messages are soothing - all of them are friends who have been in this spot. Mostly because it's followed up with an "I'm so sorry you're still pregnant" and "I can remember being in this place and it sucks."

What should you say (via text or e-mail)?
Just thinking of you. No need to respond. We love you.

6. Maybe this baby just isn't done cooking.
No, it's done. I'm done so it's done. Trust me.

Also, where did you get your medical degree?

And, it's not a f**king ham.

What should you say?
Here, I bought you this bottle of wine. (I mostly kid).

7. Man, you're huge. That baby will come out soon, it's out of room.
You think I'm joking with this one. People say these things.

Sometimes people are assholes. Please don't ever say this. To anyone. Ever. I've gotten so many "huge" comments throughout the pregnancy that it's a minor miracle I haven't punched anyone in the face. And 99% of these comments come from adults. The adults I WORK WITH.

What should you say?
You look lovely.

8. Have you asked your midwife/doctor about _______? I read online that...
We are in continual contact with our medical professional. But thanks for googling something.

What should you say?
This is another instance in which it's probably best to say nothing.

And again, most of the people who say, text, Facebook message, or e-mail these things mean well. They're not inquiring or making comments for the express purpose of making pregnant women feel bad or to upset them. But many of these things ARE upsetting and some of them (see #7) are really rude regardless (and yet, I hear it often).

When in doubt, send messages of love and support - things like "thinking of you" "we love you" and "I bought you some chocolate." You can even indicate that a response isn't necessary so we don't feel obligated to reply if we're too tired to think of anything to say or if we've just reached our limit on the amount of social interaction we can handle in one day. Because social niceties are exhausting, as is gestating a baby. And when you're 40+ weeks and tired, sore, frustrated, angry, weepy, and looking for signs every moment that you're in labor, it's hard to muster up enough energy to make pleasantries.

So world, when this baby comes you will know. It will be posted. Family will get phone calls.

And it's not that I don't love and appreciate all my family and friends, because I do. It's just that I am not in a good head space. I had PPD with Griffin, being overdue is already triggering my depression. If this baby doesn't come soon then I will become even more depressed - something I was really hoping to avoid. The thought that I may have to go into a hospital to have an induction fills me with dread, even though it may be necessary and if I don't have this baby by the weekend I will voluntarily be induced.

Not being able to nurse well with both P & G was rough on me, if I have to be induced AND I have trouble nursing then that will be very, very bad for my mental health and I cannot.stop.thinking about that. Every time I look in a mirror, pee, look down, put on shoes, have a contraction, or move I am reminded that I am still pregnant. That I am uncomfortable. That I am NOT IN LABOR. I feel betrayed by my body. By my uterus (which previously worked so wonderfully and now is being an asshole).

I am worried that my body won't be able to do it this time. That something is wrong. That I am deficient. That this is a bad omen (and I'm not a superstitious person, so this is new to me). These thoughts do not feel good. These thoughts are not helpful. And every time I get one of the above messages or phone calls or texts I am reminded and these negative feelings are reinforced.

So what should you do if you want news? Wait. Or text someone else. But better yet, wait. Good or bad news will be distributed when there's news to distribute. But no news means no news. And adding your anxiety as to when this baby will comes does not help my anxiety. It, in fact, makes it so, so much worse.

This has been your PSA for the day. Hopefully now you understand why I have ignored your text messages or phone calls or e-mails or posts. Why I haven't "liked" your latest comment on my Facebook update. Why I give one word answers to your inquiries when I do actually respond. Why I've taken a bit of a break from social media.

I am tired. I am sore. I am frustrated and angry. I am weepy. I am NOT fine and I won't be fine until I have a baby. Now you know. So now please, PLEASE send only positive thoughts or messages I don't have to respond to. Or send chocolate. Or wine.

Resolutions, 2015 edition

I have posted yearly resolutions for awhile now. There was 2014, 2013, 2012, & 2011. I've been mostly successful at keeping these resolutions, so I figured what the heck, lets try a new set for 2015. Only I'm tired and pregnant and busy, so lets make these really, really attainable.

So here are my 2015 New Years Resolutions.

1. Have a baby. That one will be easy to keep if not easy to actually accomplish.

2. Finish the paperwork for my Clear Credential which has been sitting on my desk for 2 years. This one I HAVE to do since my credential expires soon.

3. Run again after baby is born and I've gotten the all clear. This one I've been dying to do for ages, but since I was so sick the 1st trimester I got out of the habit and I don't think picking up running again at 30 weeks is such a good idea.

4. Try not to stress myself out over losing baby weight. This one will be the hardest, by far. It's my 3rd baby, I'm in my 30s, and losing weight won't come as easily (not like it was ever easy, but you get my drift) as it did when I was in my 20s. So I need to cut myself some slack. It will have taken 40 weeks to earn these enormous lunch lady arms, so it's gonna take awhile to make them go away.

Speaking of being 30 weeks and having lunch lady arms, here's a belly pic. Scroll down for comparison w/ G & P pregnancies.

Now w/ Penelope - only at 31 weeks

And with Griffin at 32 weeks

Things to note:
1. I miss that dress, why did I ever get rid of it?
2. Uh, that's it. So really "Thing to note."

We did have a 30 week appointment this Saturday, in addition to hosting a group prenatal at our house. Baby looks good, things are normal and boring.

The group prenatal was interesting. Everyone brought food and we sat around and shared birth stories while the midwives pulled people into the back room for their individual visits. Overall it was nice. Exhausting, but nice. We haven't met a lot of people here outside of our respective places of employment (and more so my work than B's), so it was nice to meet people who not only had kids, but were also home birthers. While home birthers can be a diverse group, they tend to share some things in common and so it's nice to get to know people who have similar philosophies as we do. I don't know if we'll find new besties, and I doubt any group could replace the MSN/One Heart community we had out in Sacramento, but hopefully we'll get to know a few families to add to our social circle.

I'm now on bi monthly pre natal visits, so I see the midwives again in 2 weeks. Come mid-February we'll be on weekly visits until baby 3 decides to make an appearance. I'm really hopeful this one follows in its sister & brother's footsteps and comes on its EDD (3/14/15) because Pi Day is an awesome day on which to be born. We'll see. There's only so much say I have in the matter.

Photos of the birth & Breastfeeding

Today was our 7 day check up (a day early). Which means that we got our birth photos and slideshow! Bryan has to upload the slideshow portion, but here are a few pictures of the birth (none of the ones I post here will be actual birth shots since not everyone needs to see that much of me, these are mostly pictures of Griffin).

But first, the appointment.

G-Man weighed in a 8.8 lbs. The loss of weight is normal, and it wasn't as much as P's weight loss (she lost nearly a pound which was the biggest indicator of our breastfeeding problems).

We are having a few feeding issues, mostly revolving around positioning. Marlene and Kaleem helped us find a hold that works much better for us so hopefully feeding won't be as frustrating. He would pop on and off, which happens less in this new hold. Although a part of the reason for his frustration is that my supply, while adequate, isn't letting down fast enough to keep him eating. So I never feel fully "drained" and nursing sessions last 2 hours (literally). This is really difficult for me to cope with at night, especially since the holds we were using hurt my back. Side nursing at night is possible, but not really practical at this point. I have to use both hands and so it isn't very restful.

So I'm now on Fenugreek and More Milk tincture to help boost my supply. Once I let down more he should be much more efficient while nursing and we should both find nursing to be a much more pleasant experience.

Right now, I do not enjoy breastfeeding. But I'm hopeful that will change with the herbs, new hold, and with time. It is, after all, only day 6.

His gas issue might also be resolved with more efficient nursing. They're not concerned that he hasn't had a bowel movement since Monday, it's not uncommon for newborns (although I will admit that I was worried about it). The increase in supply should get his digestive system moving.

They also showed me a new way to burp, and hopefully that will help.

So things are good. Certainly not perfect, but what is? I'm nowhere near comfortable enough with nursing to do it in public, but that will come with time. For now we'll just hang out at home (although I am going stir crazy). We might go to MSN for music tomorrow, but that's not really "public" and I have no problem nursing in front of the ladies and kids there. They're practically family.

Anyway, here are some pictures. Enjoy!


LONG baby!


Kissing my baby boy


So happy :)


Love that face


Father and Son

Griffin's birth story

Griff just fell asleep so hopefully I can get this finished before he wakes up and needs to nurse.

The week leading up to labor had been filled with irregular contractions, so I figured that I would go into labor at any time. I should have know better! Griffin, like his sister, was right on time. My midwives had 4/16 as my due date in my chart and I had 4/15 (using an online calculator). He was born 4/16 at 2:14am - right on schedule.

The day of 4/15, Bryan, his mom, and I took Penelope to the zoo to see if walking around could get labor started. It worked! At about 7pm contractions picked up and we called our midwives to come over. They got in at around 8:30 and set things up. I labored for another 2 hours or so before getting into the water. I spent some time on my yoga ball, took a shower, and walked around the house a bit to get the baby to drop - for while my contractions were strong and regular, he was still pretty high.

I got into the tub and labored for awhile before asking Marleene to check me. She said I was nearly finished and we could either wait it out or she could break my bag of waters. I opted for her to break my bag... I was ready for things to get going and I hoped that the breaking of the bags would bring the baby down further and I could get to the heart of labor.

It helped! He moved further down... but I was still having trouble pushing. Marleene checked me again and found I still had a little cervix left (like with Penelope). She pushed it back and helped bring him further into the birth canal. It was, without a doubt, the most painful part of labor. But afterward I was finally able to start pushing productively (and I finally threw up, I'm one of those that throws up once I'm ready to push - lovely, huh?). It wasn't long after that he was born! I think I had 10 or 12 pushes before he was out - they were much more intense than they were when with Penelope. MUCH more. I felt like a woman possessed, once he crowned it was 3 pushes and then he was out!

Turns out the reason that labor was more difficult (i.e. it took him longer to get into the birth canal) was because the cord was wrapped around his neck twice. 30% of babies have the cord around their necks, so it wasn't a huge deal - but it did mean that labor needed to progress a little more slowly. Although from start to finish it was a hour shorter than my labor with Penelope. On average a woman's second labor is about half of her first - I didn't quite get that, but if I had the cord/neck issue would have been much more dangerous. Marleene and Kaleem monitored him throughout the labor and his heart rate was always good, so he tolerated the whole experience very well.

I'm so glad we were able to have another successful homebirth. It really is the only way I would want to birth - we haven't left our house yet!

Official stats, 9.1 lbs, 22.5 inches, 38.5 cm head circumference! We decided on the name Griffin Walter Rodgers after about a day.

Penelope seems to be adjusting well, she wasn't happy when my mom was holding Griffin though :)

Ok, he's waking up - more later (pictures too!)

Owls and 39 weeks

The owls are done!!!!!!!!

Thanks to Sarah for letting me borrow her sewing machine today, I was able to get them finished during Penny's nap and after dinner. Here's a picture (and they look 100x better in real life, the camera doesn't do them justice - especially the yellow/orange one).



So one more thing to check off the list.

I also found out today that I passed TPA 1, which is super awesome. Now I just have to work on TPA 2. It's a lesson plan and I've always gotten high marks on those, so I'm not too worried. I do have to make some calls and e-mail people in order to figure out how they want me to submit the TPA... I should have e-mailed the lead professor on Monday, but it was one of those days. And then Tuesday just *sucked*. Bryan got some really bad news at work and I don't think I thought of school at all. I should have done it today, but I finished the owls. Excuses, excuses.

Tomorrow my Dad has Penny for the morning/afternoon so I'll be able to focus on school stuff. It's so much easier to work on school work when I'm not at home (I hit up Starbucks and spend the morning in their very uncomfortable chairs).

Anyway, TPA 2 is tomorrow's priority.

Tomorrow also starts the 39th week of pregnancy. So it's time for comparison pictures.

39 weeks with "&"


And 39 weeks with Penelope


Not quite the same angle, so it's hard to get a real comparison... but at 39 weeks with Penelope I wasn't interested in standing unless absolutely necessary. I'm much more active this time around, but probably only because I have to be - Penny doesn't let me lounge around in my sweats. She's so demanding :D

Speaking of which, here's a picture of her from Tuesday. Bryan's grandma sent her this really cute dress and I figured since we didn't have anyplace fancy to wear it, we might as well make Tuesday Dress-Up Day.





Sometime this weekend I need to go through P's closet and pack away all of her 24 month sized clothing. They don't fit at all - they're all much too short (although not too tight). Some of her 2T stuff is also a little small... today she wore a 3T outfit and it fit quite well. She's still mostly in 2T, but any new clothes we buy will have to be 3T. She's getting so big so fast!

Her next Pediatrician appointment is at the end of May and I wouldn't be surprised if she was close to or slightly over 36" by the time we go. I need to get her one of those wall hanging measurement thing so we can keep track at home.

Should be very interesting to see how the two kids compare growth-wise...

Baby Betting Pool

So it's getting close, and I've been meaning to set up a betting pool for this baby... we had one with Penelope and it was fun (my Aunt Allison won, bragging rights only, but still!).

I thought about setting up a pay account so people could actually win money, but that seems like a bit of a pain in the butt.

What do you think? Should I set one up this time around? Pay or free?

Head up, head down

So I've already posted this on Facebook, but since this blog doubles as the kids' baby books I figured I should post about it on here as well.

Wednesday was our 38 week prenatal appointment. Everything was pretty normal, but Kaleem was concerned that the baby seemed to be breech. Since I have a LOT of water, it was a little hard to tell, but the heart tones were up very high and the baby's movement had changed over the past few days. So we scheduled an ultrasound for today to double check and so (if baby was indeed breech) we could work on trying to turn him/her before delivery.

I was really nervous about the whole thing. For whatever reason I've had a lot more anxiety with this baby than I ever did with Penelope... I think it's because there's so much else going on. Grad school, unemployment, Bryan's weird work situation (short story: they suck), and not having insurance combine to make me a little on edge. So the possibility of a breech baby/delivery was really difficult for me to contemplate. A complication I really didn't need.

So Thursday wasn't a very good day for me (mental-health wise) and I was a bit of an emotional wreck. I got a lot of great advise from friends about yoga positions, acupuncture, chiropractic work, etc that have helped women turn babies, and Kaleem was confident she could turn the baby if necessary; but I was still a little freaked out and very stressed about the whole thing.

I had a heart to heart with "&" before bed on Wednesday and Thursday and told him/her that Mommy would really appreciate it if he/she would flip back and get ready for labor. I know I had told the baby last week that I wasn't ready for his/her appearance, but flipping back would really make Mommy feel better. I also told "&" that he/she could come whenever he/she was ready - I wasn't finished with all of my work, but that was less important than his/her safe arrival.

Movement Wednesday night and Thursday was all over the place and frequent. Friday morning it seemed as though baby had changed position, but I though he/she might be transverse.

Before we went in for the ultrasound, Kaleem felt my belly and told me she was pretty sure the baby had flipped and was now head down and in the perfect birthing position.

So we went in, the tech spent a few seconds checking and confirmed - baby is head down!

PLUS, he/she is in the perfect birthing position. There are a few ways babies can present, but one is ideal for delivery - and "&" has positioned itself perfectly. Mommy is so proud!

It was a huge relief - for everyone! But it really helps my stress level. I still have work to do, but I'm ready for the baby to come whenever he/she is ready. I know I can get my work done on time no matter when this baby decides to show up - so I'll just let baby be my guide.

My contractions and the pressure have increased throughout the day, but I don't think labor is imminent. A couple days, a week, two weeks... who knows? I'll get as much done as I can and then I'll finish things up after baby arrives. My Mother In Law will be out to help, my mom will be here, my dad is always available, and Bryan should be able to take some time off. I know everything will get done... eventually. And the most important thing is a healthy baby and delivery, and the timing of that I shall leave to "&".

Mommy is ready whenever you are baby!


Oh - and we've narrowed our names list. So here it is:

Girls: Isadora, Calliope, Athena, Jolie (that one is new)
Boys: Dexter, Milo, Griffin

Update & 38 weeks

I've been meaning to do a real update for awhile, but it's been hard to find the time to sit down and actually write one out. I probably should be working on TPA 1, but I'm so burnt out right now. Thursday when my Dad has Pen I'll be able to focus and get it finished - I'm about 3/4 of the way done.

If I remember correctly, TPA 2 is a lesson plan and I have a bunch of those already written so hopefully I can take something I have and modify it to fit the requirements of that particular TPA. Lesson plans aren't too terribly hard to write, even with the 1/3 + model they ask for (which means I have to specifically consider the needs of the top 1/3, middle 1/3, and bottom 1/3 of students).

I'm hoping that both TPAs will be done by the end of next week... which is a week before my due date. The moment I get them turned in this baby can come. But not before. NOT before.

Luckily I haven't been having too many contractions lately. The more I exercise (i.e. walk or lift Penny) the more I get, so I've been limiting those activities. This, of course, makes me feel like a huge lazy pregnant house. This last stage of pregnancy is neither comfortable nor sexy.

I did get the maternity proofs back and I like them, Bree is a great photographer... although the pictures of Penelope are the best :) She's so photogenic.

Although since I haven't posted a pregnancy picture in awhile I owe you one. Here's one from today, I'm 37 weeks 5 days. And then there's a picture of me @ 38 weeks with Penelope for comparison.





So lately people have making comments like "you've gotten so big!" and "are you sure there's only one?" and "wow, you've really exploded there!"

Let me just state that none of these things are ever, ever, ever ok to say to a pregnant woman. Ever. The ONLY thing that is appropriate to say to a woman whose 38 weeks pregnant is "you look great". ONLY THING.

Anyway, our next prenatal is tomorrow and I have a feeling it will be pretty boring. My blood pressure will be low, the baby's heartbeat will be in the 140 range, and he/she will still be head-down and in my pelvis. I don't get checked unless I ask and since it's only 38 weeks and I'm not having regular contractions I don't see the need to ask to be checked. Maybe at 39 weeks if I'm having more contractions.

I still don't think I'll make it to 40 weeks, but I could be wrong. It's just a feeling, not based on anything concrete. We'll see! We were going to put together a betting pool for date/time/gender, but I don't know if it'll happen. I have my TPAs to finish and Bryan started school last night, so we're both just trying to keep our heads above water.

There's probably a lot more I could update about, but I'm drawing a blank. Time to put away the computer and finish crocheting a hat for "&".

Working on The List

I still have a lot of school and credentialing work to do, but I have a paper topic so that's a start. If I want to get a B in this class I only need to get a C on the paper... although a C on the paper might actually get me an A- in the class depending on how my last assignments are graded. But that's just the final assignment for the class I still have a lot of TPA work to do. It's just going to have to wait until the class is over, one thing at a time.

I did get some research done today, which is good. I also did laundry, cleaned the master bedroom (Bryan re-arranged it so it's labor/tub ready), and cooked extra dinner and froze the rest (I now have 4 meals frozen). So I feel as though I accomplished a lot today. In addition to rearranging the bedroom, Bryan finished texturing Penny's new room (all it needs now is to be painted), and between yesterday and today he did a LOT of yardwork. So both of our Lists got at least a few things checked off so far this weekend.

Tomorrow we're going to a fundraiser potluck for Mother's Support Network, and then I hope to be able to work a bit more on my paper.

And now for the interesting stuff that people actually care about, a Penelope update.

She can now reach the deadbolt on the back door... without standing on her tip toes. It's 41" off the ground. She can't quite lock or unlock in yet, but that will come soon; that will be fun when it happens. Not.

I don't think she could do too much damage in the backyard (to herself or what's out there), but if she figures out how to get into the garage we're in trouble. I don't think it's possible to toddler-proof the garage and I don't want to even try.

Penelope has also decided that it's fun to get in trouble. She purposefully stands up on the couch or our bed even though she knows she's not supposed to. Then she grins at me when I tell her to sit on her bottom. When I get close enough to take her off the furniture she sits right down with a very pleased look on her face. Brat.

I've started counting to three before I impose a consequence, and the smarty pants will hold up her fingers while I count as if we're playing a game. It's actually pretty hilarious and I have a hard time not laughing at her; and boy is it hard to giggle and be stern at the same time.

She's also started taking her frustrations out on things. So if I tell her "no" she'll try and hit me or pull on the dog if Harley-Quinn happens to be nearby (and she's always nearby, that d@mn dog is never out of reach). She gets told "no", "we don't hit", and "be gentle" when she does those things - I don't know what else I can do. I know this is normal behavior, but it's still a little frustrating. Welcome to parenthood, right?

She's also consistently taking naps and going to bed at night on her own without crying. Which is SO nice. I'm sure we'll still have days and nights where sleep is a struggle, but for the most part she puts herself to sleep without a fuss and then sleeps for 2+ hours (nap) or 11+ hours (bed). No crying. Although she was never really a bedtime crier - but perhaps that's because we always put her to bed asleep (until recently). I always figured she'd let us know when she was ready to sleep on her own... and she did! Thankfully it corresponded with when WE were ready to have her sleep on her own. I think we lucked out on that one.

Now on to "&"

I'm 36 weeks pregnant and have been given the "ok" for a homebirth. My midwives don't expect me to go into labor this week, but they estimate the baby's weight at 5 1/2 lbs which means that if I should go into labor now I can safely have the baby at home.

This is wonderful news, even though I desperately hope the baby decides to wait at least until all of my classwork and credential work is done... so while I don't enjoy pregnancy and while I'm so very ready to no longer be pregnant, I'm hoping to actually go the full 40 weeks. A month ago I would have never said that. A month ago I would have hoped to go into labor the moment I was given the green light... but a month ago I didn't realize how much I have to get done before April 15th.

Baby is in the right position for labor - head down, in my pelvis, etc. But that doesn't mean labor is imminent. While I'm having contractions (mostly BH) every day, they're not regular and don't increase in intensity. I know I'm not going into labor anytime soon.

My next visit in Tuesday, it's actually a home visit so Marlene and Kaleem come to our house. That way they can (re)familiarize themselves with the layout, where supplies are, etc. Which is why I'm glad our bedroom is now "properly" arranged, our birth kit is done, and Penny's room is close to being finished.

Next week I may also get to see my maternity photos! Bree (who took P's 1 year pictures) took them on the 13th and she said they'd be ready in about 2 weeks. Penny and I had a lot of fun working with her and I'm looking forward to seeing the pictures. She took some of P and I together, just the belly, and then a bunch of just Penny. She's also going to come over 7-10 days after the baby is born and take newborn photos. Her photography is beautiful - check out her website: http://www.breehesterphotography.com/

Ok, time for bed. Here's one of my new favorite pictures of Penelope (with her Uncle Nic at the Steinheart Aquarium in San Francisco):

A general update

It's been awhile since I posted (yes? I can't remember and am too lazy to check).

Anyway, things have been hectic. Bryan's schedule will soon include school (in addition to softball, soccer, and room remodeling... and work), and I have a lot of classwork, exams, cooking, and nesting to do before April. The most urgent things on my list are classwork and exams, two weeks left of this course (equals four assignments) and two TPAs to complete (which are basically just really LONG assignments). They need to be finished before I deliver since getting them accomplished with a newborn will make life so much harder.

But it's not going to be easy to get everything done before baby gets here. Not by a long shot.

So I've been feeling very overwhelmed lately... as in weepy. Saturday afternoon I lost it after Pen and I came home from the grocery store. Bryan wasn't able to get out of his obligation to play a tournament to come home, but my parents were able to make it over to entertain the baby so I could piece myself back together. It wasn't pretty. Although I did realize that I need to ask for help, so I'm trying to get better about that. It's not easy - I'm one of those people who enjoys a little bit of stress. But this stress is really just too much. Here's a list of things that I need to do before April 15th:

*Finish coursework for TED 666 (the class I'm currently enrolled in, which ends 3/27)
*Finish TPA 1
*Finish TPA 2
*Get birthing kit together
*Start/finish the owl project for Penny's room (a sewing project)
*Cook at least a week's worth of food and freeze it (preferably 2 weeks, but that's a stretch)
*Stock up on groceries
*Clean the bathrooms
*Put Penny's new room together (once Bryan is done)
*Clean closet and rearrange master bedroom (so the birthing tub will fit)
*Clean the rest of the house (lower on my priority list since cleaning gives me some pretty lovely contractions)
*Set up automatic bill pay so our bills get paid on time no matter when I go into labor

There's probably more, but this is all I can remember off the top of my head.

Bryan's list is equally extensive - he's got a lot on his plate as well.

Suffice it to say, overwhelmed is a bit of an understatement.

I do have some awesome family and friends who have offered to help out. My Dad takes Penny once a week so I can get school work done and my Aunt has offered to babysit as well so I can work on classwork and TPAs. I have some mommy friends who are going to come over sometime in the next few weeks and help me make/freeze food, they've also offered to bring food over after I deliver (hooray!). My brother spent a day helping Bryan remodel P's room, which was a big help. My parents are going to watch her Thursday night so we can make it to our childbirth class and our next prenatal... and they're going to take her next Friday night which will allow us to get stuff done as well. Although it would be nice to have one last date night before "&" arrives so we may do that instead of work on our list(s).

I'm sure it will all work out... although sometimes it's hard to fathom exactly *how* it will all work out.

I'll just have to count my blessings and take on day at a time (and a host of other cliches as well).

But enough of that, on to the good stuff.

Penelope's sleep has been stellar the last week. I'm so excited about it and I really hope it continues post-new baby. This afternoon I put her in her crib for naptime (awake but tired) and she fell asleep on her own. Score! She does this for bedtime (and has for a little while) but this was the first time it's worked for naps. I hope this continues, because it makes my afternoons so much easier. Especially since I'm getting to that point of pregnancy where I'm just uncomfortable, period.

I'll be 36 weeks on Thursday and while I'm ready to no longer be pregnant, I am in no way ready for this baby to be born (see above list). So I'm going to try to not complain about how much I dislike this phase of pregnancy because no matter which was you slice it, babies are easier to care for when they're inside then when they're out.

I am getting excited to meet this baby and find out his/her gender and finally choose a name. So there's something to look forward to - and it will hopefully make these next four weeks slightly more bearable.

Ok, on to a different topic. Baby signs. Penny now signs please, more, eat, all done, thank you, and socks. I'm working on teaching her mommy, daddy, potty, banana, apple, shoes, water, and up. She says nanas (food), mama, dada, da (for dog), key (kitty), verde (Spanish for green), and has other random words that she doesn't use consistently (like rabbit). It's still not as many words as she had before, but her vocabulary continues to expand so I'm not too worried. She sees her pediatrician in 3 more months.

She understands A TON. I can give her simple and complex tasks and she does them. She knows the names of a large number of people - most of whom she doesn't see everyday. She recognizes pictures of cousins she's only met once (she loves her cousin Gadge's pictures) and can point out her grandparents, Aunt Franny, Cousin Bobby, her friend Orson, O's mom Kim, Sarah, Sophia, and more from the pictures we have. She also knows who Lisa & Lisa are (one runs a toy store and one teaches music) and will greet them with a wave and a smile when she sees them (once a week).

She puts away her toys, will pick out specific books when asked, knows which stuffed animals are which, and knows a bunch of body parts (eyes, mouth, nose, ears, belly, fingers, toes, feet, legs, bottom, and hair). She really enjoys coloring, playing pretend with her doctor kit and her kitchen, and really loves feeding the dog (which Harley-Quinn also loves, but which Mommy & Daddy do not).

I'm probably forgetting a dozen things that she does, or has just started doing, but it's hard to keep track! Life goes by so quickly when you're running after a toddler all day!

Alright, I should get some stuff on my list done (or at least started) while she's still sleeping. Pics later!

35 weeks - appointment

Our 35 week appointment was today. Rather uneventful, but here's the stats.

Baby's HB: 144
My BP: 110/68
Measuring: 36 weeks
Cervix: closed

I'd been having a lot of contractions and cramping, which is normal, but both Bryan and I were happy to hear that my cervix is closed. No baby this week! Baby needs to wait until at least March 27th (that's when my class is over). Although it's still possible that I'll go a full 40 weeks, which is fine. While delivering at 38 weeks would be nice, I'll be ok if I go a full 40.

My midwives do want me to take a few supplements to help relax things, so I'll pick those up this weekend.

The next few days: San Francisco zoo (or aquarium), maternity photos, and sewing projects

Things for next time: diapers are finished! Pics will be taken and uploaded soon.

Baby? What baby?

It's official (and it has been for awhile, but I'm just finally admitting it). We no longer have a baby. We have a "big girl"... a toddler... an almost 3 foot tall person with her own, very distinct personality.

A troublemaker. A diva. A child who in no way takes after her mother (haha).

As evidence I give you these:











See? Not a baby anymore.

But speaking of baby, my delivery date is fast approaching. I've been having a lot of contractions and cramping, a lot more than with Penelope. It makes me feel as though I won't make it to 40 weeks (although I certainly hope I at least make it to 37) but who knows. I could still go up to or past my EDD... I have an appointment Thursday evening and I may ask them to check me just to see what's going on in there. The cramping and contractions would seem to indicate that my cervix is ripening and getting ready, but it's not certain. Luckily I haven't lost my mucous plug or have any other signs of impending labor. I'm not ready to give birth yet! There's still so much left to do and I'm in the middle of a Graduate level class... it would be incredibly inconvenient to have the baby before this class ends. I'm trying to get my stuff done a little early, but that's easier said than done.

I'm finally getting around to doing our taxes - hopefully they'll be done today so at least that chore is off of our list. Now we just have a thousand other things to do.

So I should get to that.

I have new video of Penelope, I'll try and get around to uploading it sometime this week.

34 Weeks

So yesterday marked the start of my 9th month of pregnancy (which lasts *forever*). I'm 34 weeks 1 day and am so. ready. to be finished.

I think I've dropped a little since the last pregnancy photos I posted, so here's a new one with a pic of me @ 35 weeks with Penelope:





As you can see, I now have to wear 2 shirts to cover the belly. But I do think the baby has dropped a little. We have an appointment in a week so we'll see what the midwives say.

Appointment Update

Just a quick update - we had our 33 week appointment today. As predicted, it was rather uneventful. Next appointment is in 2 weeks.

Stats:
My BP: 98/60
Baby's HB: 160
Measuring at 33 weeks exactly

I apparently have a lot of amniotic fluid so they weren't 100% sure of baby's position. They're pretty sure he/she is head down, but it should be easier to tell next appointment. IF baby is breech we'll work on turning him/her, but I'm not worried. Since most of my kicks are up and to the right it feels as though baby is head down with its back facing my left side - a lot like Penelope was at this point in the pregnancy. Baby's head is still floating and not really anywhere close to my pelvis. This explains why I'm carrying so high and my plentiful amounts of amniotic fluid explain why I'm much further "out" than before.

Kaleem and Marlene mentioned that the baby was still small - which isn't abnormal - but I am hoping that this one is slightly smaller than Pen. She was 7.15 and I wouldn't mind delivering a baby in the mid-low 7lb range (instead of a 8lb or more baby). No matter what the size I know I can have a successful natural vaginal delivery, but if I had any control over it the smaller side of normal would be preferable :)

Soon I'll make up a spreadsheet so people can start placing bets on date/time and gender! We're getting close to the end!!!

33 weeks, 7 left

Today I am officially 33 weeks pregnant. I have no idea what that is in months. Since months don't really tell you much I tend to ignore them, plus one "month" has an extra 2 weeks in it to make up for the first two weeks after your LMP so the whole month thing is just silly anyway. If you didn't understand that last sentence don't feel bad - it means you're lucky enough to have never read one of the countless books on pregnancy (the worst offender is What to Expect When You're Expecting - horrible book, I wouldn't recommend it to any pregnant woman. Dr. Sear's The Pregnancy Book is 1,000x better).

Anyway. 33 weeks. So I have 7 weeks left until my due date and 4 weeks left until I'm technically full term. Since due dates are estimates and based off of a 28 day cycle they're not generally very accurate. Although my EDD is based off of my ovulation date (since I'm weird and know exactly when I ovulate - down to the minute) my EDD should be pretty accurate. Although who knows. This baby may decide that he/she doesn't need the "extra" 3 weeks of baking and is ready to meet the world sooner rather than later. Or he/she may decide that my uterus is super-awesome and decide to stay in until Kindergarten.

I'd rather deliver at 37 weeks than go "overdue" but since I really don't have any control over when I go into labor I'll just have to take what I get.

Tomorrow I have another appointment with our midwives (I feel like I just had one - well, I did... two weeks ago). It should be uneventful.

I really, really, really, should be writing my research paper for this class. School has me a little stressed out lately - there's just so much I need to do before the baby comes! Ok, back to work.

The blog drought is over!

So it's been awhile since I updated, things have been busy! I'll get right into the updates...

I'm 32 1/2 weeks pregnant - less than 8 weeks to go! This baby feels much higher than Penelope - you be the judge. Here's a picture of the belly today & then one of me with Penelope at 33 weeks:





Kicks are right in my ribs - and they're VERY uncomfortable. Baby is most active at night, but kicks around all day. I think we're all ready for this pregnancy to be over, but we're still not quite ready to have an infant in the house :)

Bryan is busy fixing Penny's new room so that the nursery will be open for "&" - and I'm busy making diapers so that we can cover his/her little butt! Here's a picture of two diaper patterns:



There's also playgroups, music class, school (me, and soon Bryan!), job hunting (a seeming exercise in futility, but necessary nonetheless), and everything else. I have a hard time keeping track of the days, they tend to run into each other.

In Penelope-news, she now has all 16 teeth (and has for a week or so). So teething is *almost* at an end. They've all broken through but are still moving into place, so soon we'll be done with teething (until her 2 year molars). This is very exciting, we'll all be so happy when teething is over.

She's also off formula. She still gets a bottle before bath time, but it's whole milk. At some point we'll need to wean her off the bottle, but it helps her sleep better so for now it stays. One bottle a day isn't going to hurt her and we brush her teeth afterward so I'm not going to sweat it.

Wednesday she has her 15 month appointment (technically a week early, but still - 15 months?!?!?). She's a pro at walking, tries running, is getting very good with her sign language (she can combine signs now - so she'll say "please eat" or "more eat"), and is constantly babbling. We have a lot of fun together during the day...

I probably have a lot more I could write about, but it's late and I'm exhausted. I'll try and update regularly, especially as "&"'s due date gets closer. For now I'll leave you with a picture of Penelope and Orson.

31 week appointment

Today was our 31 week prenatal appointment. Next appointment is at the end of February, already into our every 2 week appointments!

So here's the stats:

Baby: heartbeat 154, head down (but still floating, not in the pelvis), feet are lodged into my ribs, measuring at 34 weeks on one side and 31 weeks on the other - so we're going with 31 weeks.

Me: Blood pressure 98/60 (eep!), Iron 10 (low as well), and I'm gaining more than I'd like but not more than I should.

So I need to take my Iron supplements (I've been lax), get in plenty of cranberry, and walk when the weather is nice.

6 weeks until I'm full term and 9 weeks until my due date.

Tomorrow is going to be crazy-busy so I should at least attempt to sleep.

The Great Diaper Experiment

So today was Day 1 of "The Great Diaper Experiment" and it went really well. From start to finish it took us about 2.5 hours to finish one diaper, but it was our first and we had to make patterns, discuss steps, and figure out how to work the snap machine. Once we get into making the "real" diapers things will go much faster (especially if Sarah is able to cut a lot of fabric - go Sarah go! I hate cutting, so if she can get a good chunk of it done before we meet up again Monday I will love her forever).

Anyway, once the cutting is done we can focus on doing a sewing/snapping assembly line and they should come together pretty quickly. They certainly won't all be done in one day, but I don't think it'll be more than 3 days of sewing to get all 60 finished (40 for Sarah and 20 for me).

I have to admit I was starting to get really overwhelmed by the project - sewing + school + job searching + being a full time mom = holy crap! But thanks to Sarah's friend Deborah (who guided us through the process) we have a much better handle on how to get these done and I'm now excited and confident that we can make it work.

It's going to save us all a TON of money on cloth diapers and they're going to be SUPER cute. I promise to take pictures and post them once we're done.

Sarah found out she's having another girl, so most of her fabric is girl-ish (and it's all really cute). I went with what I thought were gender neutral colors, but some of mine will look more boy-ish. I'm ok with this though because even if "&" is a girl I have NO problem putting my girls in blue. Although (slightly hypocritically... ok, *really* hypocritically) I think I would have a problem with putting a boy child of mine in pink. I'm annoyed at my own hypocrisy - and annoyed how much America's cultural prejudices have seeped into my unconscious. It shouldn't matter what colors my kids wear. And if "&" is a boy and he wants to wear pink or other colors traditionally associated with girls, then I will do my best to let him do so. (And yes, I know that pink used to be a boys color way back in the day, but it's not anymore!)

So that was today's adventure.

Tomorrow is the Superbowl. I'm rooting for the Saints (although I do like the Colts - but I have a soft spot in my heart for the city of New Orleans). I hope it's a good game and not a blow-out...

Next week we have a midwife appointment, and the week after that we start on Pen's new room in earnest. My due date is fast approaching! I'm getting really excited to meet "&" - find out if it's a he or a she - and settling into life as a family of four. 10 weeks left!

Are we there yet?

This post could have also been titled "Get me out!"

Apparently "&" dislikes his/her solitary confinement.

I'm tired of it as well... but we both have to hold out at least 7 more weeks. These are going to be a long seven weeks. "&" has not stopped moving all day. While it's nice to know that he/she is active and healthy, it's getting incredibly uncomfortable. I don't remember Penelope being this active - maybe she was and I've forgotten just how much I dislike this phase. Or maybe this one is just much more exuberant than his/her big sister.

I'm also getting to the point in this pregnancy where sleep is nearly impossible. Between my hips (which ache and burn no matter what position I'm in), my back, leg cramps, having to pee often, and the baby's movement, I'm getting less and less sleep (not that I was getting a ton beforehand).

Our next appointment is next week, I'll be just about 31 weeks (I'm 30 weeks today). In about 5 weeks we'll take maternity photos (and by "we" I mean me... and Penny will come as well - I want to get pictures of her and the belly).

Tomorrow Pen and I will spend some time with other mamas, having lunch, and going swimming in an indoor pool. Should be fun :)