Isadora Claire's Birth Story

Little sissy is 14 days old, so I guess it's time I wrote out her birth story.

She was due 3.14.15 and I had been having intermittent contractions for about a week before her due date. Her due date came and went, just like my contractions. It was frustrating to say the least. At 40 weeks 5 days I visited an acupuncturist to try and get things to start up for realsies. While it was very relaxing, it didn't jump start active labor like I had hoped. At 41 weeks 1 day I opted for some interventions - a membrane sweep, pressure points, and some other things.

At 41 weeks 2 days I was having contractions (painful ones) every 10 minutes. I figured it was more of the same - I had been having irregular contractions for 2 weeks and painful irregular contractions for for a few days. Bryan and I took the kids to a park, went out for lunch, and then headed home to hang out. I had planned to take a walk around the block, but at 2:30ish I felt a pop and a gush.

My water had broken - the first time in all three pregnancies/labors that I had actually felt my water break.

Bryan called the midwives and they advised him to fill up the tub and, if I had the baby before they got there, to keep the baby low until they could be there. I think that freaked him out a little.

Luckily for him, they got there in plenty of time. They arrived, set up, and I got in the tub as quickly as I could as my contractions ramped up in terms of spacing and intensity.

And it was intense. This was not my first rodeo, so I thought I knew what I was in for... but this was the only labor that caused me to curse - more than once - and in which I felt like I had to be done soon because I was having a hard time tolerating the contractions. I have been told I "sing" my babies out, but this one was more of a yelling this baby out.

From water breaking to baby's exit was 3.5 hours. It felt like this labor took the entirety of Penelope's 8 hour labor and squeezed it into 3.5 hours. It.Hurt.A.Lot.

But it was over pretty quickly.

And then she was here. The big kids were able to be in the room to see her birth (they were there on and off for the labor), and I pulled her out. Although owing to some crossed legs, exhaustion post labor, and swollen girly-bits, I actually thought she was a boy at first.

We were discussing names (and my mom started calling relatives) when I decided to re-check and discovered my error. Oops!

After that, names were easy. She looks so much more like an Isadora than a Gwendolyn.

Breastfeeding was good at first, then rocky, and now we seem to be back on track. I'm on domperidone, we have some donated milk, and she's gaining again after losing slightly over 10% of her birth weight. She has a pediatrician appt tomorrow, so hopefully we continue to see gains.

At this point she's our best sleeper (knock on wood) and I usually get a few 3 hour stretches at night before we settle in for a nurse-a-thon.

The big kids adore her and have adjusted well so far. They fight over who gets to refill my water or bring me my nursing pillow and they both like to read to her or snuggle up with us while she nurses.

I'm still doing most things one handed since she still insists on being held and won't sleep well unless she's close to someone. But that's to be expected, she's only 2 weeks old.

I'll try and post pictures soon, there are a lot on Facebook and even more on Instagram... but here's one to tide y'all over.

What Not to Say to Someone Who is Overdue

Today I am 41 weeks pregnant. I can't think of anyone who is pleased with this, but least of all me. I've been getting a lot of texts, Facebook messages, e-mails, and general questions from a lot of people. All of them mean well. But a lot of these messages and texts do more to frustrate than to actually help - I know it's not their intention, but it is what it is.

Hence this post.

So, as a public service announcement (or really, just for my own sanity), here are some things that I recommend you do NOT say to a woman who is a week (or more) overdue.

1. How are you feeling?
This question, while sounding innocuous, is unintentionally frustrating. Why? Because we don't feel good. We are tired, frustrated, & possibly angry. We likely ache. It's possible we're having really uncomfortable or painful contractions but still aren't in labor, which is pretty much a horrible feeling. We feel betrayed by our bodies and possibly the baby. We're worried that something is wrong. We are hormonal- really, REALLY hormonal. Did I mention how tired we are?

It's not a good feeling. And so we'll smile and say "fine" out of social obligation, but we're not fine and we don't really want to be reminded about how NOT FINE we are.

What should you say?
Good morning, good afternoon, you're soooooo good looking (bonus points to those who get the allusion), or really anything other than how are you feeling...

EXCEPT
2. That baby still isn't out yet?
Um, no f***ing duh. Obvious people state the obvious.

I seriously wonder if people are thinking when they say this to me. It's obnoxious. Don't ever say that. Ever. To anyone.

What should you say?
It's so nice to see you.

3. When is the baby going to come?
Lemme just get out my crystal ball or, better yet, check the meat thermometer I have pushed into my side.

The baby is not a Thanksgiving turkey, we cannot tell you when it will be done. I promise, we are not keeping it in there just to annoy you (although at this point, there are some people that have been so unintentionally annoying that if I could control when this baby was born I might just keep it in another day... no, actually, I wouldn't do that because see question #1).

That question is not helping. At all. So please stop.

What should you say?
Actually nothing. Just say nothing if this is your go-to.

4. Almost there!
Again, not helpful. Why? Because you don't know. At 41 weeks we could go another week before we get a baby. A week when you're overdue feels like a month. And the prospect of facing another 7 days of being tired, sore, hormonal, irritable, and plain miserable is not "almost there" - it is, in fact "hell on earth."

What should you say?
Would you like some chocolate?

5. (via text or e-mail or phone call) I hadn't heard anything, have you had the baby?
If we'd had the baby the world would know. It would have been posted to every social media platform know to mankind. We would have Lion King'ed that baby from the top of the tallest mountain. You would have gotten a text or a phone call.

No news means NO NEWS. You, and the 600 other people who are waiting are not nearly as impatient for this baby as we are and we are not prepared to spend our day sending out text blasts or constant social media updates to tell everyone that NOTHING IS HAPPENING. Because nothing is happening and we're significantly more upset about it that anyone else on the planet. Having to be reminded that nothing is happening by well meaning people is really, really frustrating.

And I know that all these people mean well. They love us, they love this baby, they are just excited and/or concerned and they want to reassure themselves that mom & baby are ok. I get that. I know it comes from a place of love. But while the intentions are purely good, the reality is that these notes don't really do much to help and can actually be hurtful because after the 100th message of the day we are more upset than we were after the 1st.

I will say that there are women who welcome these messages. It makes them feel good to be on someone's mind. I am not one of those people. There are a small handful of people from whom these messages are soothing - all of them are friends who have been in this spot. Mostly because it's followed up with an "I'm so sorry you're still pregnant" and "I can remember being in this place and it sucks."

What should you say (via text or e-mail)?
Just thinking of you. No need to respond. We love you.

6. Maybe this baby just isn't done cooking.
No, it's done. I'm done so it's done. Trust me.

Also, where did you get your medical degree?

And, it's not a f**king ham.

What should you say?
Here, I bought you this bottle of wine. (I mostly kid).

7. Man, you're huge. That baby will come out soon, it's out of room.
You think I'm joking with this one. People say these things.

Sometimes people are assholes. Please don't ever say this. To anyone. Ever. I've gotten so many "huge" comments throughout the pregnancy that it's a minor miracle I haven't punched anyone in the face. And 99% of these comments come from adults. The adults I WORK WITH.

What should you say?
You look lovely.

8. Have you asked your midwife/doctor about _______? I read online that...
We are in continual contact with our medical professional. But thanks for googling something.

What should you say?
This is another instance in which it's probably best to say nothing.

And again, most of the people who say, text, Facebook message, or e-mail these things mean well. They're not inquiring or making comments for the express purpose of making pregnant women feel bad or to upset them. But many of these things ARE upsetting and some of them (see #7) are really rude regardless (and yet, I hear it often).

When in doubt, send messages of love and support - things like "thinking of you" "we love you" and "I bought you some chocolate." You can even indicate that a response isn't necessary so we don't feel obligated to reply if we're too tired to think of anything to say or if we've just reached our limit on the amount of social interaction we can handle in one day. Because social niceties are exhausting, as is gestating a baby. And when you're 40+ weeks and tired, sore, frustrated, angry, weepy, and looking for signs every moment that you're in labor, it's hard to muster up enough energy to make pleasantries.

So world, when this baby comes you will know. It will be posted. Family will get phone calls.

And it's not that I don't love and appreciate all my family and friends, because I do. It's just that I am not in a good head space. I had PPD with Griffin, being overdue is already triggering my depression. If this baby doesn't come soon then I will become even more depressed - something I was really hoping to avoid. The thought that I may have to go into a hospital to have an induction fills me with dread, even though it may be necessary and if I don't have this baby by the weekend I will voluntarily be induced.

Not being able to nurse well with both P & G was rough on me, if I have to be induced AND I have trouble nursing then that will be very, very bad for my mental health and I cannot.stop.thinking about that. Every time I look in a mirror, pee, look down, put on shoes, have a contraction, or move I am reminded that I am still pregnant. That I am uncomfortable. That I am NOT IN LABOR. I feel betrayed by my body. By my uterus (which previously worked so wonderfully and now is being an asshole).

I am worried that my body won't be able to do it this time. That something is wrong. That I am deficient. That this is a bad omen (and I'm not a superstitious person, so this is new to me). These thoughts do not feel good. These thoughts are not helpful. And every time I get one of the above messages or phone calls or texts I am reminded and these negative feelings are reinforced.

So what should you do if you want news? Wait. Or text someone else. But better yet, wait. Good or bad news will be distributed when there's news to distribute. But no news means no news. And adding your anxiety as to when this baby will comes does not help my anxiety. It, in fact, makes it so, so much worse.

This has been your PSA for the day. Hopefully now you understand why I have ignored your text messages or phone calls or e-mails or posts. Why I haven't "liked" your latest comment on my Facebook update. Why I give one word answers to your inquiries when I do actually respond. Why I've taken a bit of a break from social media.

I am tired. I am sore. I am frustrated and angry. I am weepy. I am NOT fine and I won't be fine until I have a baby. Now you know. So now please, PLEASE send only positive thoughts or messages I don't have to respond to. Or send chocolate. Or wine.

Resolutions, 2015 edition

I have posted yearly resolutions for awhile now. There was 2014, 2013, 2012, & 2011. I've been mostly successful at keeping these resolutions, so I figured what the heck, lets try a new set for 2015. Only I'm tired and pregnant and busy, so lets make these really, really attainable.

So here are my 2015 New Years Resolutions.

1. Have a baby. That one will be easy to keep if not easy to actually accomplish.

2. Finish the paperwork for my Clear Credential which has been sitting on my desk for 2 years. This one I HAVE to do since my credential expires soon.

3. Run again after baby is born and I've gotten the all clear. This one I've been dying to do for ages, but since I was so sick the 1st trimester I got out of the habit and I don't think picking up running again at 30 weeks is such a good idea.

4. Try not to stress myself out over losing baby weight. This one will be the hardest, by far. It's my 3rd baby, I'm in my 30s, and losing weight won't come as easily (not like it was ever easy, but you get my drift) as it did when I was in my 20s. So I need to cut myself some slack. It will have taken 40 weeks to earn these enormous lunch lady arms, so it's gonna take awhile to make them go away.

Speaking of being 30 weeks and having lunch lady arms, here's a belly pic. Scroll down for comparison w/ G & P pregnancies.

Now w/ Penelope - only at 31 weeks

And with Griffin at 32 weeks

Things to note:
1. I miss that dress, why did I ever get rid of it?
2. Uh, that's it. So really "Thing to note."

We did have a 30 week appointment this Saturday, in addition to hosting a group prenatal at our house. Baby looks good, things are normal and boring.

The group prenatal was interesting. Everyone brought food and we sat around and shared birth stories while the midwives pulled people into the back room for their individual visits. Overall it was nice. Exhausting, but nice. We haven't met a lot of people here outside of our respective places of employment (and more so my work than B's), so it was nice to meet people who not only had kids, but were also home birthers. While home birthers can be a diverse group, they tend to share some things in common and so it's nice to get to know people who have similar philosophies as we do. I don't know if we'll find new besties, and I doubt any group could replace the MSN/One Heart community we had out in Sacramento, but hopefully we'll get to know a few families to add to our social circle.

I'm now on bi monthly pre natal visits, so I see the midwives again in 2 weeks. Come mid-February we'll be on weekly visits until baby 3 decides to make an appearance. I'm really hopeful this one follows in its sister & brother's footsteps and comes on its EDD (3/14/15) because Pi Day is an awesome day on which to be born. We'll see. There's only so much say I have in the matter.

Fun with Old Wives Tales

So the other day I came across this site which lists 10 Old Wives Tales for baby sex prediction and I thought it would be fun to go through them all and see what the Old Wives have to say and then compare once baby Tre gets here.

So, here we go!

Old Wives Tale (OWT) #1: How you carry
Apparently one carries girls high and boys low. So based on this post I think it's safe to say I'm carrying high, which means that this OWT predicts a baby girl. Although if you look at all the pictures, I carry high in all of them and Griffin is most definitely a boy.

Tally: Girl: 1  Boy: 0  No Result: 0

OWT #2: Body clues
Acne = girl
Dry hands = boy
Cold feet = boy

I have both acne and dry hands. No cold feet though, just cold hands.

So this one is a tie. No winners here.

Tally: Girl: 1  Boy: 0  No Result: 1

OWT #3: The Ring Test
You take your wedding ring, string, and see if it swings back and forth (girl) or in a circle (boy) over your belly.

Result? Back and forth. So another OWT for a baby girl.

Tally: Girl: 2  Boy: 0  No Result: 1

OWT #4: The Drano Test
You're supposed to mix your pee with Drano. How many old wives actually had Drano?
Not doing this one, counting it as a no result.

Tally: Girl: 2  Boy: 0  No Result: 2

OWT #5: Heartbeat!
If baby heartbeat is under 140, boy. Over? Girl.

We've heard it both under and over 140. So another no result.

Tally: Girl: 2  Boy: 0  No Result: 3

OWT #6: Cravings
Sweet cravings are supposed to mean a girl, while sour means a boy.

I don't actually crave much, just food. I want sweets after a meal, but I wanted that pre-pregnancy too. I do really like spicy foods when I'm pregnant, but then they give me wicked heartburn. I can say that I definitely do NOT crave anything remotely sour (except in the first trimester when pickles were one of the only things I could eat without throwing up).

So I guess this one is a "no result" as well.

Tally: Girl: 2  Boy: 0  No Result: 4

OWT #7: Chinese Gender Predictor
This is all based on mother's age at conception, or something like that.

Anyway, it says girl.

Tally: Girl: 3  Boy: 0  No Result: 4

OWT #8: Husband Sympathy Weight
If baby's daddy is gaining along with you, then you're having a girl. If he's not, then it's a boy.

Bryan doesn't gain weight. Bastard. So this one says boy.

Tally: Girl: 3  Boy: 1  No Result: 4

OWT #9: Morning Sickness
Morning sickness is supposed to indicate that you're having a girl.

What it really indicates is that evolution is an asshole.

Tally: Girl: 4  Boy: 1  No Result: 4

OWT #10: The Key Test
So you take a kay and if the pregnant person picks it up by the pointy bit, then girl (can you feel me rolling my eyes?) but if she picks it up by the rounded part then boy.

I pick up my keys by the keychain. Also, this one is stupider than the other 9. I'm calling it a "no result."

Final Tally: Girl: 4  Boy: 1  No Result: 5

Alright, so the Old Wives are just as blind about this whole thing as I am. While girl does win out over boy, No Result takes the cake and proves just how silly these things are.

Although I do kinda think it's a girl.

Family Pictures

Today we go for our annual family pictures, which is something that Penelope and I enjoy but Bryan and Griffin participate in solely to make me happy.

I thought I'd go back and look at the last few years of pictures before today, and they made me cry, so I decided to make a post out of it.

But before that, quick updates. I'm 23 weeks pregnant, 118 days to go. Everything still looks good. Penny had her 1st Kinder parent/teacher conference and she's doing really well (on track in some areas, above grade level in others - everything assessed in Spanish). She's bossy and popular (she only gets one of those from me and apparently none of those from Bryan - or so he says). She's writing sentences in Spanish (unprompted) and is reading at a 1 grade level in Spanish (4th grade in English). She loves math and is quite good at it. She's still taking piano and still loves it.

She wants to be an astronaut or a jungle scientist, depending on the day - but she's very much into science and art and loves Harry Potter (we're in the middle of Goblet of Fire).

Griffin doesn't get p/t conferences in preschool, but we did get to chat with his teacher and he is doing well in school. He talks in both Spanish and English in class, often responding in English to a teacher's questions in Spanish. He's always singing Spanish songs at home and exclusively names his colors in Spanish. He, more so than Penny, is excited for the baby and he often talks to or "hugs" the baby. He wants to help me do *everything* - he insists on helping me put on my shoes so I don't have to bend over. He helps me cook, he helps Bryan with dishes, he helps sort socks for laundry.

The kids are only about a pound apart in weight. Sis is tall and slender (like her daddy) and Bubs is tall and solid. He's strong and can quite easily overpower his sister.

Work is fine - just got back from taking 7 girls to Washington DC for a student journalism conference. That was a trip (in all the ways that phrase implies). It's been almost a week since we got back and I'm still recovering. But it was fun - for all of us - and I'm glad we went.

Ok, so pictures. I don't have all the years scanned in, so maybe I'll revisit this in a few days and add in the ones I scan.

2009: Penelope's 1st birthday and I'm 20-something weeks pregnant with Griffin

Also, one of just Sissy because it's adorable

2010: In my parent's backyard, not professional. We did end up going to JC Penny later, but I can't find those (probably because I hid them because I hate the way I look in these, but whatever. I had birthed two children in as many years)

2011: At a park in Sacramento, Griffin's 1st birthday pics.

Also, one of the kids together and one of Bubba separately, because they're fricking adorable.

And then one of my brother teaching Penelope how to blow a dandelion because it's also totes adorbs.

2012: I don't have digitally, will have to try and scan.
2013: Griffin's 3rd birthday, on the beach in the Aptos area

2014: That's today! 2015 pics will be after baby is born.

I love seeing how much bigger they get each year. Also, my husband is HOT (and apparently doesn't age).  ;)

Halfway point - 20 weeks

Today I am officially 20 weeks pregnant with the Third Musketeer.

Comparison pics are below if you'd prefer to skip the text update.

Everything looks fine thus far. Genetic testing came back clear, ultrasound came back with nothing but good news (baby is measuring on schedule, is 50% for weight, all organs in place and looking good, pretty much a normal healthy baby from all that they can see). My uterus is measuring exactly where it should. My vitals are good.

Baby's heartbeat today was between 125-130, which is in the normal range. It's lower, so my midwives now think it's a boy; but just 4 weeks ago it was in the 160s so they thought it was a girl.

I think it's a human. Pretty sure I'm right.

We had a girls name picked, but Bryan found another he liked so we've opened up the list. Still no consensus on a boy's name. We do agree on middle names though. Claire for a girl and Vernon for a boy. So at least we agree on something.

I'm ok if we just have a list of names at delivery time and then choose that day or a few days after. Seemed to work with Griffin.

And now for the pictures.

20 weeks with Baby #3

20 weeks with Griffin

26 weeks with Penelope

Comparison Pics

It's been ages since I did a true update, but school is in session and I don't have time for much of anything. Besides, I go to bed at 8:30 lately so there's not much updated happening.

But I DID (finally) find time for this. Belly comparison pics.

Things to note.

1. I was TINY with Penny, but she was my first so duh.
2. My arms get bigger, why is that? I'm not growing a baby in my arms.
3. My belly is rounder this time, IMO.

So here's 19 weeks with Penny:

And 16 weeks with the Bubs:

And now 16 weeks with Baby #3:

Hello Frisco!

Last week, during my "vacation week" (I use quotation marks because I worked 2 of the 5 days), the kids, Judit, & I drove up to the City.

As we passed South SF it was beautiful, sunny, and 70 degrees. As we passed the airport we could see the bank of fog on the horizon. Judit asked me "what is that?" and my reply? "That's San Francisco!"

It was, as usual, an overcast morning. Cloudy, cool, and crowded. We headed to the bridge first - I had never walked across it and it seemed like a good tourist thing to do.

The Bridge - 11am

Penny, Griffin, and Judit

It was windy, and cold, and beautiful.

Judit with Angel Island behind her

Sissy enjoyed the bridge and its views

Bubby & Sis

Griffin was decidedly less enthusiastic than his sister. I carried him 3/4 of the way (we walked to the second tower and back, so maybe 2+ miles in total). In fact, the first few times we stopped to look at the views Bubby crawled over to the fence to look instead of standing up next to the railing like his sister. He's not really a fan of heights or bridges - poor thing. I always forget he's afraid of these things until we're actually on a bridge. I should remember, I used to be terrified of bridges when I was his age.

After the bridge we headed to meet up with friends for ice cream and to spend time in the Haight. I didn't get a ton of pictures, but here are a few of the ok pics.

Griffin with Baby Lena

Our friends Tazz & Alyscia just had a baby a few months ago and Griffin LOVES babies. So he really enjoyed getting to hold baby Lena.

My kids + baby + me

I really enjoyed holding baby Lena as well. After carting around the almost 40 pound Bubby, snuggling with a 16 pound baby was like holding a bag of feathers. Plus she's adorable and oh-so-happy.

Squishy with Lena

Sissy loved holding the baby too. In fact, she asked for a baby sister after we left. Good luck with that one Poe-poe.

Griffin also expanded his list of potential wives. He added Liz, Alyscia, & Lena to the list.

On the way home, we took HWY 1 back to Salinas. It was beautiful, I'm glad we went the long way. I didn't get any pictures, but I wouldn't have done it justice anyway since I'm still not all that great with the camera.

It was a long and exhausting day. I wish we could have done more, but I didn't want to get stuck in the horrific downtown traffic. You really need 2-3 days to experience San Francisco. Overall we had a good trip and I'm glad we got a chance to walk the bridge and see some friends.