The 4th Trimester

I was over at a friend's house this afternoon making lactation cookies, when I realized that I have blogged very little about Izzy's first few months (aka the 4th trimester). Technically she has another month left of this, my least favorite trimester, but if I wait to blog when it's over I'll: 1. likely forget to blog entirely or 2. forget something.

It's still likely I'll forget something, but here goes.

If you Google the 4th trimester, you get a lot of websites and advise on how to survive this period of time. Most of the time these articles end with something like "don't lose hope, it gets better!" (true) or "one day you will look back on this fondly" (false) or "don't forget to sleep when the baby sleeps" (a bad joke).

Usually the 4th trimester is characterized as the newborn stage - so around 0-3 months.

It's also characterized as being the most sucktacular of time periods, tying teething, in a young child's life. Which is pretty much true.

Izzy is an adorable baby. See exhibit A.

Exhibit A

But she is also challenging in all the ways babies can be and in all the ways I forgot about because of what I like to call parental amnesia.

Parental amnesia is when you forget or romanticize all the shitty stuff about pregnancy and infancy in order to convince yourself to have another baby.

I had some serious parental amnesia going when we tried for a 3rd. Bryan did not. But since he's a good guy and we make beautiful babies he signed up for #3 in spite of remembering just how awful the 4th trimester (and teething!) really are.

This is not to say that Izzy is a hard baby, she's just a normal baby.

Nursing

Child likes to nurse. Like, constantly. Which is something I forgot about breastfeeding. For all those "10 things I love about breastfeeding" posts I see everywhere, I could write a "10 things I loathe about breastfeeding." I could also write a "10 things I loathe about bottle feeding" too, because regardless of how you slice it, feeding a newborn is labor and time intensive.

Iz started off with a great latch, and she was slowly gaining so I was really hopeful we'd be able to EBF (exclusively breastfeed, for those not well versed in parenting lingo). Alas, she dropped too much weight like her brother and sister and we had to supplement.

I was lucky to have a friend who had extra milk, so Iz got breastmilk supplement and some formula. It was really only at night and occasionally during the day that she'd need the extra milk - we were only supplementing 4-10oz a day, which was hard for me (PPD and PPA this time around, which probably merit posts of their own but will have to wait another day).

After a long and annoying battle with pharmacies I was finally able to get a script for Domperidone filled (long story short: local compounding pharmacy could no longer fill, had to get a script from a Dr. in Monterey and get it through a Canadian pharmacy - alls well that ends well, I have my script and it helps my supply).

Anyway, before I was able to get my script filled, Izzy started refusing formula bottles. That was rough. We had run out of donor milk and I wasn't making enough for her, so we needed her to take the bottle but she just would.not.drink formula. Luckily another friend of mine who had recently had twins and who has an amazing oversupply has been our new breastmilk supplier. And with the DP script I'm making more and needing to supplement less (although I do still give her a bottle at night because my supply dips before bed).

I lost my train of though... where was I going with this?

Oh, yes. Izzy loves to nurse. All this to say that Izzy would happily spend 90% of her day on the breast if she could. It's exhausting. And contrary to most nursing websites, it is NOT helping me lose any baby weight.

You may be asking yourself, if 90% of her day is nursing, when does she sleep? The answer, she sleeps while she nurses.

Shh. I'm sleeping. And eating.

Sleep

I basically spend the whole day nursing her or listening to her scream in the car if I have to drive somewhere. We do take walks, and she will occasionally sleep in the stroller, but if she's napping and NOT nursing she prefers to be in the Moby. Which means I don't sleep (not that I could anyway) and the things I'm able to do during the day are rather limited.

She will give us (and by us, I mean me - another "benefit" of breastfeeding is that night time is all for Mommy... which is fine now because I'm not working and I do better on sleep dep. than B, but sharing the night time feeding with P & G was great for me). Crap, that sentence was an incomplete run-on. ANYWAY, she gives me 4-6 hours at night depending on where she's sleeping. This is awesome! Only the 6 hour stretch is if she's in bed with us with her body as close to me as she can get (she's like an inchworm, I move and she manages to inch up next to me).

During the day, I get 45 minutes to an hour of nap before she demands to nurse again.

She fell asleep nursing... when I tried to move her, she woke up and demanded to nurse.

Which is about how long it took for me to write this much, and now she's waking up and demanding to be fed. Maybe I'll finish this blog post later...

Back. 2 hours later. I hate shots. She got hers today and has wanted to nurse even more than usual.

Speaking of her visit, here are her stats.

10.8lbs, 23.25 inches

She is my peanut. While 78th percentile for height and 50-something percentile for weight, she's both shorter and lighter than her siblings at this age. Both older kids were in the 12 pound range and both over 24 inches. Baby Dora is the runt (thus far). Although she's still probably going to be taller than me when all is said and done. Oh well.

Mommy's peanut I am.

Isadora Claire's Birth Story

Little sissy is 14 days old, so I guess it's time I wrote out her birth story.

She was due 3.14.15 and I had been having intermittent contractions for about a week before her due date. Her due date came and went, just like my contractions. It was frustrating to say the least. At 40 weeks 5 days I visited an acupuncturist to try and get things to start up for realsies. While it was very relaxing, it didn't jump start active labor like I had hoped. At 41 weeks 1 day I opted for some interventions - a membrane sweep, pressure points, and some other things.

At 41 weeks 2 days I was having contractions (painful ones) every 10 minutes. I figured it was more of the same - I had been having irregular contractions for 2 weeks and painful irregular contractions for for a few days. Bryan and I took the kids to a park, went out for lunch, and then headed home to hang out. I had planned to take a walk around the block, but at 2:30ish I felt a pop and a gush.

My water had broken - the first time in all three pregnancies/labors that I had actually felt my water break.

Bryan called the midwives and they advised him to fill up the tub and, if I had the baby before they got there, to keep the baby low until they could be there. I think that freaked him out a little.

Luckily for him, they got there in plenty of time. They arrived, set up, and I got in the tub as quickly as I could as my contractions ramped up in terms of spacing and intensity.

And it was intense. This was not my first rodeo, so I thought I knew what I was in for... but this was the only labor that caused me to curse - more than once - and in which I felt like I had to be done soon because I was having a hard time tolerating the contractions. I have been told I "sing" my babies out, but this one was more of a yelling this baby out.

From water breaking to baby's exit was 3.5 hours. It felt like this labor took the entirety of Penelope's 8 hour labor and squeezed it into 3.5 hours. It.Hurt.A.Lot.

But it was over pretty quickly.

And then she was here. The big kids were able to be in the room to see her birth (they were there on and off for the labor), and I pulled her out. Although owing to some crossed legs, exhaustion post labor, and swollen girly-bits, I actually thought she was a boy at first.

We were discussing names (and my mom started calling relatives) when I decided to re-check and discovered my error. Oops!

After that, names were easy. She looks so much more like an Isadora than a Gwendolyn.

Breastfeeding was good at first, then rocky, and now we seem to be back on track. I'm on domperidone, we have some donated milk, and she's gaining again after losing slightly over 10% of her birth weight. She has a pediatrician appt tomorrow, so hopefully we continue to see gains.

At this point she's our best sleeper (knock on wood) and I usually get a few 3 hour stretches at night before we settle in for a nurse-a-thon.

The big kids adore her and have adjusted well so far. They fight over who gets to refill my water or bring me my nursing pillow and they both like to read to her or snuggle up with us while she nurses.

I'm still doing most things one handed since she still insists on being held and won't sleep well unless she's close to someone. But that's to be expected, she's only 2 weeks old.

I'll try and post pictures soon, there are a lot on Facebook and even more on Instagram... but here's one to tide y'all over.

Weaning

That is one daunting title, isn't it?

For the past few days, Bryan and I have been tossing around the idea of weaning Griffin. I've been thinking about it for a few weeks, but not seriously... and I think it's time to get serious. Griffin's sleep is terrible. It's not getting any better and I am at the limit of my ability to cope. I can no longer afford to sleep in until 7 or 8 after a difficult night, I'm up at 5:30 and go to bed at 10. I need him to sleep.

Also? He's become a bit of a monster. Tantrum throwing, banshee screaming, balled fists, crocodile tears, hyperventilation.... all when I leave his sight or when I tell him that it's not the time to nurse (since we don't nurse on demand anymore).

I know some of this tantrum throwing can be attributed to recent changes - the move, daycare, etc. And I know some of this tantrum throwing can be attributed to the age. Tantrums are pretty common when children can't express themselves fully - heck, I see it in high school when teens don't have the language/vocabulary to adequately express their emotions/opinions. They don't throw tantrums, but they certainly act out and get defiant and angry.

Anyway, G turns into a different, less pleasant, child when I'm around.

Common denominator in all of these areas? Nursing.

And so I think it is time. I'm just not quite sure how to go about it. Cold turkey? Slow decrease?

Although perhaps Griffin will make the decision for me, tonight he only asked to nurse once and didn't nurse to sleep. I don't think that's ever happened before. So perhaps, perhaps, this process will be relatively painless for everyone involved. Perhaps.

But I'm not going to hold my breath.

One about the boy

Today Griffin walked from the living room into the hallway all by himself! He's getting better everyday although he still prefers to use his walker, but I think that's just because he can run with it. Soon, very soon, he won't need it anymore. I'm soooo looking forward to that day. I know it will be exhausting to run after him, but I'd rather chase him then lift a 26lb weight all day.

Something I am not looking forward to, at least at this point, is weaning. We're having a lot of fun nursing right now. Griffin enjoys trying to shove his fingers or his foot inside my mouth while we nurse. I try and bite whatever appendage is closest and he laughs while nursing, usually spilling milk. I'm glad that so far he is still content to nurse so I won't have to think about weaning for awhile.

I had a lot more to talk about, but I've forgotten it already. *sigh* I'll get my memory back one of these days, right?

Waiting...

For the last two days, I've spent Griffin's nap tense with anticipation of him waking up right as I start something (or am in the middle of something). This means that I've actually been putting him in his crib to nap instead of nursing him for the hour and a half period of his afternoon nap.

He's actually been doing pretty well. It used to be that I'd get 10 minutes of crib time before the nurse-a-thon commenced and now sometimes I get an hour (!!!) or even a smidge more. This is nice because I can actually get a few things done (like blog). Today I was able to prepare tonight's kabobs and stick them in the fridge, pee all by myself (this happens so rarely that it just MUST be documented), and change for work... plus this post (we'll see how far I get).

He's also been a bit better about sleeping at night. He's about where Penelope was at around 9-ish months. He goes down pretty well and is waking up about twice a night. Occasionally he needs a bottle, but more and more often he's content just to nurse. If he keeps this up (being behind P's sleep patterns by 4-5 months) then he'll be sleeping through the night at 19 months or so... which is pretty good when you think about it. I know some people who can't handle night wakings at that age and sleep train, but among my friends who do not sleep train, 19 months is good/average for the elimination of night-waking. We'll see. He could surprise us and STTN earlier (or later).

And yes, still nursing - so we made it a year! I'm really proud of us, we both worked hard to get here. Some days he's less interested in nursing than others, but he still seems to really enjoy nursing so we'll keep on keepin' on. He's become very... demonstrative when he wants to nurse. Usually I know he's ready when he starts using my chest as a drum or peeks down my shirt as if to say "hey there boobies, what's happening?"

His first plane ride is coming up in less than a month. We leave for Denver on May 17th - we'll spend a day or so in Denver and then drive up to Wyoming to see some of B's family. I'm looking forward to the trip, it's been about a year since we saw B's brother, SIL, and their kids. And G hasn't met B's Dad and Stepmom yet... neither kid has meet B's paternal grandparents so that will be a lot of fun.

Which reminds me, I need to order my iPad for the plane ride :)

Well, we're coming up on the 1hour mark of G's nap. So I'll sign of here. I bet the moment I publish this post he'll wake up.

Nursing a yearling

That makes Griffin sound like a deer.

Anyway, G-man is swiftly approaching his 1st birthday and lately more than a few people have asked me about my plans to wean.

Most health organizations recommend nursing for at least 6 months but most recommend nursing for a year or longer. I believe the average age (worldwide) for weaning is 5. But I can't remember where I read that, so maybe I made it up.

Regardless, there is no time in a child's life where breastmilk stops being nutritious. There's no point when it turns into poison, or turns your child gay, or makes the baby Jesus cry. I'm sure nursing past a year makes Rush Limbaugh, Jerry Falwell, and douchecanoes all over the world shed a tear (of jealousy?) but I really don't give two sh*ts about Limbaugh, Falwell, or other wackadoos who want to insert themselves into my nursing bra.

If you can't tell already, I'm very passionate about this subject.

I didn't used to be. Like circumcision, I have done a 180 after parenthood. In fact, I have an Aunt (who shall remain nameless, although she'll recognize herself) that nursed her children into toddlerhood - and I used to think that was weird. I never told her this, because was naive not rude, but I certainly thought it. Well, I take it all back.

Women should nurse until they (and/or their child) is ready to wean. If a child wants to wean, there's not much a mom can do to stop it (if you've ever nursed a child, you know that you cannot force a baby to nurse). But as long as a child and mom are willing/able to nurse, they should be supported in that decision. Of course, if a mom really wants to wean, she should not be forced to continue - it is her body after all. But provided both parties are willing, I say nurse away.

This means (as if you hadn't already guessed) that G and I will nurse past his 1st birthday, provided I still have milk. And if a miracle of biblical proportions occurs and I still have milk as he nears 2 years old, then we'll probably still be nursing.

A blog that I read had this to say about weaning. Her verbiage is a little harsh at times, but I agree with her.

So we're still nursing (and still supplementing) and we'll do this until it stops working for us. That will probably take us into toddlerhood. And I'm ok with that.

Oh that.

My breastfeeding struggles have been well chronicled in this blog. I have easy pregnancies, relatively easy labors, and a really difficult time with nursing.

So making it to 10 months is a big.freaking.deal. Only... only... only I want to make it to 12. Actually, I wanted to make it past 12 months - I wanted to be the nursing mom who weaned when her child was ready, even if that meant nursing until Griffin was 18, 20, or even 24 months. It may not be the norm here, but homebirthing and cloth diapering aren't exactly mainstream either. I'm used to coloring outside of the lines.

Unfortunately my body is not complying with my wishes.

I saw an LC today, one supplied by WIC. She was really very nice, but thanks to my previous LC (who was very thorough), queries of my nursing friends, consultations with my midwives, and exhaustive internet searches, this LC wasn't able to tell me anything that I didn't already know.

Actually, that's not quite true. She was able to tell me that she estimated that I was meeting about 1/3 of Griffin's milk needs - and that at the height of our nursing relationship, when my supply was at its best, that I was probably meeting about 1/2 of his needs.

I cried.

She was also very supportive. She told me that I've done more than any other client to best meet the needs of my son and that I should be really proud of my accomplishment. She said that it was more than just the milk, but my dedication to my children was evident due to the lengths I have gone through just to nurse (when switching to formula would have, in many ways, been the easiest way to go). So that was nice. It was actually more than nice.

So here's where I'm at. In order to increase my supply and come as close as I can to my goal I have three options:

1. Pump 8-10x a day (um, no)
2. Use a SNS (supplemental nursing system)
3. Get back on domperidone

Option #1 is out. Very out. I don't know if you could PAY me to pump 8-10 times a day.

We tried a SNS today - Griffin was not having any of it. I may try again tomorrow, but I don't want him to develop and aversion to the breast.

Domperidone is probably my best option, but it's not cheap and it takes awhile to get here.

This leaves me with a decision to make. Do I order the domperidone with the intent of increasing my supply, with no guarantee that it would do so, in order to nurse for as long as G is willing... OR do I pat myself on the back and throw in the towel?

G's been needing more and more formula. I feel that with every pound I loose I loose milk as well. If I want to continue to nurse then I need to act quickly.

Only I have no idea what to do.

10 month stats

Griffin went in for his 9 month check-up a month late, but here are the stats.

Height: 31.75 inches
Weight: 23.4 lbs

At this age, he's taller than Poe (she was 32" at 1 year) and weighs less (by about 4 lbs). So he's tall and thin, just like his dad.

Everything else looks good. Although he's had these tremors a few times. Most of them are just like shivers when you're cold and last maybe a second, but last week as he was falling asleep he had an 'episode' that lasted almost a full minute. His eyes were closed, no fever, and he hasn't had one since. The Pediatrician wants us to keep an eye out, but she says that it probably isn't a seizure. We need to look for rolling eyes & fevers if it happens again. I hope it doesn't.

A nurse friend of mine said the tremors are pretty common since babies nervous systems are still developing. So I'm not really worried. He seems fine after each one and the night of the longer episode it didn't wake him up and he slept ok.

In other Griffin related news, he's chatting up a storm now. Constantly babbling. He's also getting braver & more steady when standing up without support. He loves to walk when you hold his hands and I'm sure that he'll be walking in a few months, if not sooner. Hopefully he gives us a few more months though :)

Oh! And we're still nursing! 10 months and counting. I never really expected us to make it this far and I'm really happy that we did. I wish we could eliminate formula, but we still have to supplement - and probably will for the remainder of his first year (+ a few months after I guess). But hey, every little bit helps.

In other news, I've lost 13lbs. Still a ways to go until I get back into pre-pregnancy shape, but it's a start!

Weaning

"The time has come" the Walrus said.

As we all know, my milk supply has never been where it should be. Thanks to my LC and a drug called domperidone, it got close, but I've always had to supplement. When I started working I was pumping, but that got to be too much so my supply dropped a smidge. Now that I've lost some weight it's dropped even more. Apparently I need to be at a certain BMI to produce milk and that BMI is not one at which I'm comfortable.

With these drops in supply I can no longer nurse G overnight. Sure, we can nurse a little at night - I have about 2 feedings worth of milk (spaced about 6 hours apart) but they never seem to keep him asleep for very long and he ends up latching on an off for hours. This keeps me awake since I can no longer sleep while we nurse in bed. Also? I'm only producing milk on one side.

The road is getting rougher and I just don't know if I have the energy to keep on keeping on, know what I mean?

We had a really rough couple of nights and it prompted this conversation with Bryan and I yesterday:

Me: "I'm thinking of weaning"
Bryan: "Ok."

Alright, so that's not really a "conversation" per se. Well, I guess it technically is...

ANYWAY: We're going to night-wean.

Griffin will nurse before bed and in the morning (especially if I want to delay our morning wake-up), but no more middle of the night nursing. He'll get a bottle or be rocked. Hopefully this will translate into more sleep for all of us. I've started to wake up every morning with a monster headache - due to sleep deprivation - that even my morning cup of coffee can't cure.

Since we won't be nursing at night it will be interesting to see what my milk supply does. I would not be at all surprised if it dried up completely.

This makes me more than a little sad. I know that continuing to nurse at night, while keeping my supply where it is, is causing me a lot more headaches and heartaches than it's worth. But the thought of stopping nursing completely... well, that causes a fair amount of heartache as well.

There will probably be two camps regarding this decision. The first will be those who think that I should keep nursing as long as G is interested. The "a drop is better than none" camp... and then there will be those who thought I should have quit long ago, that the struggle caused me too much stress and may not have been worth it.

Although now that I think about it, that's probably not accurate. Most people will probably think "do whatever it is that makes you all happy" since most people I know understand my breastfeeding history and aren't jackalopes.

Here are some old posts on nursing... Pumping Schedule Nightmare and Finding out I don't make enough Prolactin

I really should be proud of how long we've nursed. 9+ months is longer than average in the US, and considering my supply problems it's a HUGE accomplishment. But I still feel... inadequate? I guess. There is so.much.pressure to breastfeed that I can't seem to let it go.

Maybe this pressure is all internal. Or maybe it's because I participate in online debates about things like nursing in public and extended breastfeeding. Or maybe everyone really is judging me for my inability to nurse my babies for a year (I don't really believe that, but sometimes it feels that way).

But back to Griffin and weaning. The decision has been made - we're night weaning. We'll see what happens and go from there. I'll deal with my mommy guilt as it comes and continually remind myself that our formula fed daughter is practically a genius.

Griffin will be fine regardless of how much milk he gets from here on out even though I may not be.

Just a few things

Nursing:
Griffin has become less and less interested in nursing. He arches and gets frustrated during the day but seems fine with nursing at night. So we'll stick to nursing at night and see how long it all lasts. If we end up giving it up then I'm ok with that. 7 months is a huge milestone for us both and while in an ideal world we'd nurse until at least 12 months, we all know that this world is NOT an ideal one.

Sleeping:
Things are getting better. For almost a week he's been down to just two wakings a night, Bryan wakes up with Griffin for the first round and I get him for the second.

I'll end with some pictures. I do have a lot more to talk about but I don't really have much time. I need to get a few things ready for work tomorrow.

Nursing slow down.. start weaning??

I think my milk may be slowly drying up. Or else Griffin is just a bottomless pit who can never be satiated. Or both.

Two nights ago I had to get up and feed him a bottle. And during the day he fusses while nursing and doesn't stop until he either falls asleep (rare) or gets a bottle.

I'm off the domperidone and I'm contemplating ordering more, although I don't know if that would do anything this time around. It's a rather expensive experiment with no guaranteed results.

So maybe this means Griffin and I will no longer be nursing... he is eating a fair amount of solids, oatmeal (2 tbsp) + a jar of food 3x a day. And he LOVES his solids.

Thinking about weaning makes me a little sad, but nowhere near as upset as I was when I stopped nursing Penelope at 4 weeks. I think I was depressed for a few weeks after we gave up nursing. We'll see how I feel when the possibility becomes a reality this time around. For now I'll nurse Griffin as much as I can and see where things go. But if he continues to be upset while nursing and continues to use me as a teething ring instead of a food source then we'll stop nursing sooner rather than later.

For all the struggles we've had, making it almost 6 months is a huge accomplishment. I'm proud of both of us.

Rough night

Last night was a rough one. Griffin didn't sleep well at all. He's teething and congested (which is due to the teething). This all equals one fussy, mouth breathing baby who thinks biting mommy in the middle of the night is a good idea.

I'm exhausted and sore.

Not really looking forward to the rest of today.

Teething and nursing OR Why no one is getting any sleep.

Teething continues. And this time around it's no picnic. Not like teething was a picnic with Penelope, but it wasn't quite the clusterf**k it is this time around.

Maybe clusterf**k isn't the right word. But I can't think of anything better right now.

Griffin's sleep is crap. He's constantly got something in his mouth. I've been bitten four times already tonight (and not on my hand, he likes to use milk-producing parts of me as a teether). Last night Bryan took him so I could get some sleep, I've been waking up with monster headaches in the morning and I needed to get at least a solid six hours. The boys stayed up until G fell asleep at 11:20 and he thankfully slept until almost 5. The night before G was up at least 4 times to nurse and was very restless, it wasn't fun for either one of us.

I think that part of it is my supply. While I've been lucky to nurse this long I think my supply is starting to dry up. I still have milk, but we need to supplement more and more with formula. Part of this is also that G is getting bigger and just needs more food, but my supply can't keep up either way. It's a little sad, but not unexpected. I really hope that at the very least I'll still be able to nurse him overnight. But then again I really hope he starts sleeping through the night soon. Like tonight.

I'm pumping while at work - on my prep period - and it sucks. I hate it. I have 1,000 other things I would really like to use my prep period for, one of which is observations of other classrooms. It's part of what student teaching is all about - observing more teachers will only help me improve my own teaching practice. But when I have to take 15 minutes out of prep to pump it makes observations difficult. I also have grading and planning I could use the time for, but those I can do outside of school so they're less of a priority.

There is one good thing about pumping. It guarantees that at least once a day I get time completely to myself. I can read a little, I can listen to music, I can (sort of) relax. And while I think of my kids all the time, it gives me an opportunity to really stop and think about what they're doing.

Because while I love teaching, I love my kids more - and I miss them during the day.

But my student teaching gig is going well. There are frustrating days and moments, but those just happen anyway. And the more proficient I become at classroom management and planning the less frustrating things get. I haven't yet taught a lesson I think is 'perfect', everything could use a little tweaking and improvement. Not to say that I haven't had some great days, because I have. But I learn a lot about how to improve even from the great days. The day I stop trying to improve my teaching practice is the day I need to stop teaching.

It is time consuming though. We're constantly busy. Between my student teaching, my coursework, Bryan's job, and Bryan's school (plus everything else kid-related) we don't have a lot of downtime. We juggle so much that a fair amount has been put on the back burner. Things like vacuuming and laundry... and date night. Since G is still breastfed at night we haven't had a kid sleepover at my parents in quite awhile. So Bryan and I haven't been out together since... well, I can't remember when. November is our next scheduled date, for the opening of Harry Potter. Although since that falls on a Wednesday night we may not be able to make the midnight showing - I have to teach the next day. We'll see.

I also neglected to blog about turning 29, but since it's just a warm-up to 30 we really didn't do a whole lot to celebrate it. I'm more excited about the kids' birthdays than mine. 29, big whoop.

I do have other things that I've been meaning to blog about, like parenting decisions (we've decided not to circumcise Griffin for a variety of reasons), thoughts on my credentialing program, lawyers (and why we've decided not to sue my former employers), and the fact that we're contemplating moving out of CA once I have my credential (anyone in other states know of a school district that's hiring English teachers?).

I will try to blog soon. The operative word is try. I have a couple of TPAs due, lesson plans to write, papers to grade, and babies to parent. This list is obviously not in order of importance :)

Oh! Penelope got her first black eye today. She was trying to grab something out of reach and smacked her head into the "table" (i.e. TV tray) we have next to the couch. It's not super dark, but it's noticeable. I will attempt to locate our camera to document this latest "first".

AND Griffin is sitting up on his own. Only for 10 seconds or so, but still.

4 months

Well, at 4 months Griffin is 28 inches and 15.5 lbs. Not quite as big as his sissy was at this age, but still pretty big (well, long) for 4 months.

He *loves* to sit up and he's still pretty terrible at it. He tries to sit up in the bath, while playing with toys (not that he's very interested in toys), sometimes while nursing... speaking of nursing, we're still going strong. Still supplementing of course, but we've made it 4 months and I consider that a huge accomplishment.

He doesn't nap very well, but nights are ok. He wakes up 3-4 times a night but goes back to sleep pretty quickly once he has nursed, and since we co-sleep I don't have to get out of bed! I was hoping to have him in the crib by now but Penny isn't at all interested in transitioning into her big-girl bed. I'm hoping that once he's in a crib his night waking will get better - or stop completely. I know, I know, wishful thinking.

The infancy stage ends, right?

I think we all know how much I love the infancy stage. But this time around I was really, really trying to enjoy it as much as I could. This is our last go around after all.

But it's hard. It gets easier every day, but it's still not easy. He nurses constantly and during the day he'll only nap while nursing. At night he'll sleep unattached for a couple hours at a time, so that's nice... but I can't get anything done during the day. Sometimes I can get a few things done (the occasional post for school or reading) but most of the time I sit on the couch and watch episodes of Bones (thanks Kim!), Cold Case, or The Daily Show. Not exactly the most productive way to spend the afternoon.

Speaking of being unproductive, Griff has decided to wake up and nurse AGAIN. So no more blogging for me.

Nursing milestones and life after 8 weeks

Today marks Griffin's 8 week birthday - next week he'll officially be 2 months old. Today also marks 8 weeks of nursing (well, duh) but it means that I've nursed Griffin for twice as long as I nursed Penelope.

We're still supplementing and I'm still taking domperidone - and will be doing both for the foreseeable future. At this point I'm taking nursing one week at a time.

Griffin is getting stronger and more expressive every day. He smiles, gives little laughs, and winks :) Here's some video of him and Penelope (already posted to Facebook)



Speaking of Penelope (and video) here is some of her from 7 weeks ago (also already posted to Facebook)



She really loves him, hopefully that lasts :D

School is ok for me so far, I seem to be juggling it all well - we'll see how the rest of this class goes. I have 100% in the class through week one.

I have a lot more I wanted to say but the babies need me...

Formula

We ran out of donated milk so G has been getting formula bottles when we supplement. G's digestive system is not a fan of this brand, so today we bought a different brand tonight in the hopes it helps. He definitely prefers breastmilk though, but what baby wouldn't? On breastmilk he's less fussy, less gassy, his poops aren't as smelly, and his bum doesn't get so red. I'm really hoping these formula issues are due to the brand and not formula in general otherwise we're in for a LONG year of supplementing.

In completely unrelated news, it looks like I'll get to do my student teaching at El Camino - woot! It will be neat to teach at my Alma Mater... especially since some of my old teachers still work there.

Oh, and at 6 weeks G is 24.5 inches and 11.11 lbs. So he's grown 2 inches in 6 weeks - and is in size 3-6 months!

18 months and 6 weeks

So Monday Penelope had her 18 month appointment. She's 30lbs and 35", her head is 19.5" around - in the 97% on all counts. The Pediatrician evaluated her walking and posture and doesn't think physical therapy is necessary, the exercises we've been doing at home seem to be working quite well. Bryan and I have noticed a difference already so we'll continue to do what we're doing. She starts gymnastics next week and that should help as well.

Language and motor skills wise she's right on track. Her vocab gets larger every day - she has over 15 signs and half a dozen words that she uses regularly. She repeats more words, but doesn't use them all the time so those are harder to count and keep track of.

She's doing really well with Griffin - she really loves him. She enjoys showing him off and giving him kisses.

Speaking of G, his 6 week check up is tomorrow (with the midwives). We'll hopefully get the approval for Healthy Families this week or next so we can make an appointment for a Pediatrician and get him his first round of shots. No hurries though, shots aren't fun. He's getting so huge, I've had to pack away all his 0-3 month clothes and his 3 month jumpers are too small! Luckily his 3 month onesies still fit, but when it comes to footie pajamas he's in 6 month size.

We're still nursing - and still supplementing. He gets about 1/2 from the bottle and 1/2 from me. I stopped pumping and am still on the domperidone... we just ran out of donated breastmilk so we're on formula now. He seems to be gassier on formula, so we may have to experiment with different brands.

My decision to continue nursing is day by day at this point. Last week I passed the mark where I gave up nursing with Penelope - I'm happy to have made it to 6 weeks, but still very disappointed that we're having to supplement. Some days I love breastfeeding and other days I hate it. But I'm not quite ready to give it up... so we'll nurse until one of us is done. I'll probably be ready to stop long before he is, but who knows. Our situation is what it is, and no amount of wishing is going to make me produce enough milk to feed him on my own...

Our nursing struggle, plus all the aches and pains of pregnancy, the post-pregnancy body issues, and the lovely no-sleep newborn phase have made me very glad that this will be our last baby. Don't get me wrong, I love Griffin and am glad we have him - but I'm also glad that his baby stage is our last. We have two beautiful, healthy, and happy children - we're very lucky and very happy with the size of our family.

There's a lot more I wanted to talk about, but typing around a sleeping baby is difficult so I'll end here. I hope to be able to update semi-regularly now that Griffin is slightly less needy. Of course I'll be student teaching in the Fall so that will make opportunities to post even more scarce.

Adventures in Breastfeeding

The kids and I have been out and about recently, and since Griffin and I are still trying to make nursing work this means we've had to nurse in a variety of places. With Penelope I only ever nursed at home, MSN, or in a relative's house. G-man and I are much more adventurous, here are some of the places we've nursed:

*JC Penny bathroom (and can I say - ick. There really weren't any places in the store for me to sit so we had to use the ladies room. Thankfully they had a chair b/c I would have been even more grossed out if I was forced to nurse in a bathroom stall.)

*Chilis - not too bad, they have plenty of places to sit and I have one of those nursing covers.

*Fremont Park - it was nice to nurse outside. Got a little warm in the sun though... used a blanket to cover G but only so he wouldn't get sunburned.

*Safeway - that was interesting. I took G to the grocery store (just G and I, P was at home with Daddy)... he had just eaten so I figured he'd be good to go in the Moby wrap and he'd eventually fall asleep. Hahahaha. I should have known better. If I'm the one trying to get him to sleep the ONLY way he'll sleep is if I nurse him or we bounce on my yoga ball. Since Safeway doesn't have a yoga ball I ended up having to nurse him IN THE STORE. Not really a big deal for nursing pros, but a big deal for me. I got him situated in the Moby and was able to make it work, but it wasn't easy at first. He fell asleep after a few sips but would wake up if I tried to put everything away - so I ended up doing the rest of my shopping with him snuggling my breast in the Moby. Such a boy.

I keep promising new pictures, but haven't found the time to take any yet. Soon!!

Getting Out

After Griffin was born I didn't leave our room for 3 days. I didn't leave the house for over a week, and I didn't put him in his car seat for a week and a half. It was nice to stay in and just be with our family (and nurse constantly - ok, so that wasn't "nice" but necessary), but I was starting to go a little stir crazy.

So yesterday (Monday) I packed up both kids and went to MSN for a breastfeeding support group (which didn't happen). Luckily some of our mom/kid friends showed up for a parenting discussion group so Penny and I both got in some social time.

Today we picked up my dad and took my mom out to lunch for her birthday, and tomorrow we're heading over to Kim & Orson's place for a play group (we've missed it the last few weeks!).

It feels good to get out of the house and get back into a semi-normal routine, but leaving w/ Griffin still makes me a little nervous. None of the places we're going are very far away from home... I'm not quite ready for a long trip (i.e. anything further than 20 minutes from the house). I'm still pumping at least 6x a day, so I can't really stay away for long anyway.

And let me say, I dislike pumping... I could use stronger language but I won't. But until my supply is maximized I need to pump as often as I can. It's worth it, but it's exhausting.

Ok, on to Penny stuff. She's mastered zippers, the "locks" on the "tupperware" we have (technically it's not tupperware), can reach the door handles on the Rav (which are pretty high), can jump, and is in size 3T.

She turns 17 months old tomorrow and I can't believe how fast the time has gone by!

I promise to try to remember to take pictures tomorrow.