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So today was the first time that I have left Penelope alone for a significant period of time. When she was a little over two weeks old my grandma came over and watched her for 45 minutes while I went grocery shopping, but as that was under an hour it doesn't really count as a significant period of time. Today is different, I have been away from my baby for a little over two hours and counting... I didn't realize how much I would miss her, even though the break is a little refreshing.
I cried when I left the house; I think Bryan thought I was a little crazy.
I'm not going to be gone for all that long, the kids are almost done with their homework (I'm blogging in-between answering questions - and I have to confess that 8th grade science is not my favorite subject, however 8th grade history is awesome). So if this blog is disjointed in its narrative it's because I keep stopping to check homework and once I've come back I've lost my train of thought.
Anyway... where was I?
Oh! Missing my baby... I should probably stop thinking about it, it's just going to make me cry again. Although I think a good 1/4 of my tears are guilt driven; there's a part of me that missed the freedom, and the rest of me is no longer talking to that part of me - that part of me is, for all intensive purposes, dead to the rest of me.
I was attempting humor... I don't think it worked.
I really hope Bryan and I get some sleep tonight.
3/22/15 at 3:58pm, 8.11 lbs, 22 inches
Memory Lane/Update
1 year ago
I hope you do too! If not, I'll probably be up too!
ReplyDeleteSeparation anxiety doesn't just affect our babies ... we moms suffer from it too.It will get easier to be away from Penny, and you will feel better about it.
ReplyDeleteI found that I became a better parent (much more relaxed) once I returned to work. I was getting "my time" while still doing something for my family (working.)
Don't let the guilty part of you take over the part of you that understands that you are still you, even though you are now a wonderful mom.
Hugs!
Robin