My students are awesome

Although my 4th period class is trying to kill me.

My theory is that they're so hungry, since 4th is right before lunch, that they can't focus due to lack of nutrition. They're also pretty chatty, but they're not nearly as chatty as 1st period. I think all of my 1st period students are only capable of breathing if they're talking. If they stay quiet for too long they might all perish from oxygen deprivation. 2nd period is perfect, except for the 3 gentlemen who sit poliety in class and do absolutely nothing unless I'm standing next to them.

IlovemyjobIlovemyjobIlovemyjobIlovemyjob

Actually, I DO love my job. All of the behavior I see in my classes is pretty typical of teenagers. And while I certainly do correct inappropriate behavior, I can't get too mad that teenagers act like teenagers. It would be like getting upset at a 2 year old for throwing a tantrum. That's what they DO. They're just still learning. Getting mad is pretty much useless.

But my purpose in writing this blog wasn't to discuss my student's inability to shut up. It was to highlight how wonderful they are. Here's the proof:

(BTW, this is partner work, they have to do this on their own next week. Using the GRR model, it took 3 days to get to this place. But I'm quite happy with "this place")

Friar Lawrence describes the sunrise and how it's similar to a drunkard's vision when he says "and fleckled darkness like a drunkard reels" (2.3.3). This simile foreshadows events in the play because it implies that something dark is going to happen yet with something light shining out of it. The simile demonstrates how the ending of the feud is similar to the light dimly shinning through the dark that is the death of Romeo and Juliet.

Friar Lawrence describes the sunrise and the darkness filled with spots of light when he says "and fleckled darkness like a drunkard reels" (2.3.3). This simile foreshadows future events in the play because he's trying to say that even in the dark, there will always be light (hope). The simile demonstrates how even when Romeo & Juliet die, there is will always be hope for both families.

 Friar Lawrence describes the sunlight barely coming out at dawn when he says "and fleckled darkness like a drunkard reels" (2.3.3). This simile demonstrates tragedy in the play becuase the long hatred between the two families will be disturbed by the new love of Romeo and Juliet. The simile foreshadows tragedy because the sunrise represents the possibility of a new thing coming out of the darkness.

These are, obviously, not perfect. But they're a really wonderful start. Students are starting to really THINK about what this poetic language means, not just what it describes. So the three days to get here was worth it.

Mommy, where did you get me?

A few days ago Penelope asked this very simple, yet very complex question.

"Mommy, where did you get me?"

"Well love, what do you mean? Where did I pick you up today?"

"No. I mean where did you get me. Where did you first get me."

"Oh, I see. Well, I gave birth to you. I made you in my uterus, which is in my belly, and then I pushed you out."

"But how did you push me out?"

"Once you were big enough, the muscles in my uterus helped to squeeze you out of my belly."

"Oh" long pause "But where from your belly?"

"Here, let's get your birth book and look at pictures from when you were born" (note: these pictures don't actually show the birth)

"Oooh! Ok!"

We then spent the next 10 minutes going through all the pictures in both her & Griffin's yearbooks (books I made chronicling their first year of life).

It was a conversation I hadn't expected, but overall I think it went well. I'm sure we'll have this conversation over and over again - in slightly more detail as she gets older.

Ah, my precious love.

Another conversation we had recently was about love and marriage...

Penelope: Daddy, who is your best friend?
Bryan: Mommy.
Penelope: (laughing) No, she's your wife!
Me: We can be married and be best friends.
Penelope: My best friend is Kayla, but she's not my husband.
Me: No, no she's not.
Penelope: But mommy, princess can marry princess.
Me: Yes, sometimes princesses do marry princesses. If they love each other.
Penelope: And princes can marry princes.
Me: Yes, if they love each other.
Bryan: You can marry whoever you want, when you're 40.

Night Time Ritual

When the kids were babies I would sing to them every night. I had a list of lullabies:

*Baby Mine, Dumbo
*Nice and Easy, Sinatra
*Miss Otis Regrets, Nancy Wilson
*Go to Sleep Little Baby, O Brother Where Art Thou
*Always, Fitzgerald
*Goodnight my Angel, Billy Joel
*Sweet Dreams Little Man (Godspeed), Dixie Chicks
and, of course, Sweet Baby James by James Taylor

It is Sweet Baby James that has "stuck" with the kids as THE lullaby song. They both call it the "cowboy" song and demand (mostly politely) that I sing it to them whenever it's my turn to put them to bed (and sometimes when it's Bryan's turn).

In case you haven't heard it, here it is (also, this was recorded on my birthday 11 years before I was born, so kick ass).



And here is the kids helping me sing the final chorus. They, of course, don't sing it as loudly when I record it. But it's still sweet.

Why I don't spank

I read something on Facebook today about spanking. The gist of it is that kids who got spanked survived, and kids "these days" who were never spanked are rude and disrespectful.

I must vehemently disagree.

****Stop here if you don't want to read my thoughts on spanking, this entire post is dedicated to how I feel about spanking. It is not indented to criticize any specific person. This post was sparked by something specific, but these thoughts have long been ruminating in my brain. I do not think that parents who spank are bad parents. But I do think that spanking itself is not good. So read or skip.****

I was never spanked. I am not some sort of hooligan who spits in the face of authority. I am confident and outspoken. I am thoughtful yet assertive. I am respectful but not deferential.

And I will not spank my kids.

I work with kids from a variety of backgrounds. Some who have been spanked. Some who have been beaten. Some whose parents used non-physical forms of discipline, and some whose parents used zero discipline.

You know which kids are the best behaved? The ones whose parents used non-physical forms of discipline.

You know which kids are the worst behaved? The ones who are spanked/hit/beaten AND the ones who are not disciplined at all.

You know how I know this? Because I have conversations with my students, especially those who are trouble makers, about what goes on at home.

Overwhelming consensus from students: Spanking and hitting doesn't make us behave, it just makes us do things behind our parent's back.

More than just this, spanking is illogical. We are our children's greatest role models. We are the biggest influence on their lives, their development, their future. They will, for better or worse, model their behaviors and their relationships after the ones we present to them. So why would we make hitting an acceptable behavior? When is it ever ok to hit an adult? When do we ever hit our friends? When is it ok to hit our spouses or partners?

The answer is that - it's not. So why is it ok to hit a child? Especially a child who doesn't know all the rules. A child who is still figuring out how the world works. A child who, oftentimes, doesn't really understand WHY their behavior is bad.

They stole a toy from a friend or a candy from a store. They yelled at a parent. They drew on the wall. They're still figuring out WHY these things are not acceptable. They need to be told WHY. They need to understand that stealing a toy from a friend makes their friend sad. They need to know that stealing candy from a store is wrong because that candy doesn't belong to them - they didn't pay for it. They need to know that it's not acceptable to yell or be disrespectful toward parents and authority figures. They need to be reminded that coloring is for paper, not walls.

And they need to be told this multiple times because they are children and don't exactly have phenomenal long term or short term memory. They need to be reminded because they're trying to learn 1,000 things a day and lessons need to be repeated.

Then they need to practice. Practice using their words "Lily, can I play with that please?" "Mommy, can I please have a candy bar?" "Daddy, I don't want to wear that shirt." "Grandma, I'm sorry for coloring on the wall."

Give them words. Make them use them. Make them repeat them.

And then give natural consequences. And spanking is NOT a natural consequence. Make them clean up the mess. Or apologize to a friend. Or get a toy put up if it can't be shared... etc.

But what, exactly, does spanking serve to do other than make them angry and sad and confused? And what, exactly, does it teach them?

Hitting is a terrible teaching tool. It's ineffective in the classroom. Hitting doesn't help teachers teach, it doesn't help kids learn.

We are our children's greatest teachers. Their first teachers. And if you don't trust your child's teacher, a trained professional, to hit - then why would you trust yourself? No one trains you to be a parent. There's no guide or instructional manuel.

I just honestly don't understand the logic behind spanking.

There are those that lament "kids these days" and blame it on a lack of spanking. News Flash: kids these days to more volunteer work, care more about the environment, & are more accepting of diversity than any modern generation before them. There's nothing "wrong" with kids these days.

But there is something wrong when there's a lack of discipline in a home. The absence of spanking shouldn't equal the absence of discipline. Because discipline - consequences of inappropriate behavior and rewards for appropriate behavior - is important in teaching kids boundaries, social norms and expectations, and how not to be a jerk. (I could couch that in positive language "how to be kind" but I feel like "how not to be a jerk" is more accurate).

My kids test me. My kids throw tantrums. They misbehave.

My students test me (especially 6th period). They misbehave.

You know what works best to get my kids and my students to do what I want? Positive rewards for positive behavior. And to TALK to them. A 1-1 with my 9th grader works better than anything else I've ever tried in the classroom. A 1-1 with my son who just finished throwing and epic tantrum works well too.

And yes, I have to repeat the lesson. But unless you learned Calculus in a day, you need lessons repeated as well. We all do.

I wasn't kidding when I said they don't stop talking

The car. Today.

Bryan: The guys at BNI were giving me a hard time about shaving my beard. I told them how I had it when I dropped off Penelope at dance class last week, came home and shaved it, then went to pick her up and she didn't recognize me. She finally said "Dad, where'd your beard go?"
Penelope (from the back): Yeah Dad, you just shaved your beard.
B: Yeah, but I'm growing a little back, just for you. (he's growing a goatee)
P: Will it be rainbow colored? Or just black.
Me: (DYING)
B: Probably just black. Is that ok?
P: No, I prefer rainbow colored.

Last night she had a dream that she was a big girl and could read all by herself.

Today she insisted on taking her new library book (Little House in the Big Woods) with us to dinner. As in she brought it into the resturant and flipped through it.

I like this new stage. It is full of awesome.

Out of the mouth of babes

Today was a play day and I realized that:

1. 4 year olds don't ever stop talking
2. Since they never stop, much of what they say is utterly ridiculous
3. 2 year olds are also chatterboxes, but 2 year olds with older sisters have a hard time getting in a word edgewise
4. Thus 2 year olds must invent even more ridiculous sayings in order to be memorable.

Today, after we made alien/spaceship Valentine's Day crafts, the kids pretended to be astronauts "blasting off" to various planets in search for food. Just so you know, here's what you can find in our solar system.

The sun: popcorn
Mercury: pudding
Mars: juice
The Moon: cheese (ok, so this one was mine)
Venus: cupcakes
Jupiter: lemons/pineapple
Saturn: soup
Neptune: ice
Uranus: apples

Then we had the following conversation:

Penelope, having returned from Jupiter (which, by the way, is the bush at the end of the driveway): "Look at this giant pineapple. It can talk! And since it can talk we will, of course, not eat it."
Me: "You're right, that IS a very large pineapple. And I've never met a pineapple that could talk before. How wonderful."
Griffin: "I'm Buzz Lightyear! Take that pineapple!" (kicks the air where said pineapple is sitting) 
Me: "oh Bubby, we need to be nice to sentient beings."
Penelope: "Nevermind mom, it's a dragon pineapple and it's evil. Let's kill it!" (joins her brother in kicking the air).

Later.

P: "Mom, which planet should I go to?"
M: "I dunno Sissy, which planet do you want to go to?"
P: "The forest planet I think, they have lots of pine cones there."
M: "Yes, I imagine they would."
P: "But there are a lot of chipmunks in the forest (whispers) but you'd better watch out because they might eat you."
G: "I can eat squirrels, they're deeeeeelicious!"
P: (aghast) "No, Bubby, you can't eat squirrels, they're senchen!" (read: sentient)

After bath:
P: "Mommy, I'm a superhero."
M: "What's your super power?"
P: "I fight crime."
M: "Sweet."
G: "Sissy is the best sister in the whole world."
M: (melts)

Mostly Random Bits of the Weekend Thus Far

This weekend is the 1st of two three-day weekends we get in February. And by "we" I mean the kids & I. Bryan doesn't get 3-day weekends, and he rarely gets 2-day weekends. Most weekends he works during nap-time or after the kids go to bed, if not during the day... while we're both glad he's working, it is difficult not to have a whole weekend of family time.

Yesterday was the one day of this long weekend that he got to be "free" - he and my dad drove up to San Jose to catch a Sharks game while the kids & I spent time with my mom & grandma. Errands, play time, a movie, and lots of snacks later, we met back up with Bryan and headed over to a friend's house for dinner and Rock Band. It was a fun, but exhausting, day.

Today was another fun one. This morning I packed the kids up in the bike trailer, hitched the dog to the bike, and went to the park for a morning of fun. Let me say that again. I placed by 41 & 38 pound children in the 25+ pound bike trailer, attached the 60+ pound dog, and rode to the park.

It was fun, but good gracious I am out of shape.

Then we tried to walk to the library, but it was closed. Boo. This is the second time in as many weeks I've tried to take the kids to library and been denied. I have hopes it will be open tomorrow, but since it's a holiday I'm not going to hold my breath.

During naps (well, for G), Penelope and I went grocery shopping. It's always nice to spend time with just the two of us. She really seemed to enjoy it, I know I did.

When we got home I started a sponge starter for tomorrow's bread, made heart shaped dog biscuits, made sugar cookie dough for tomorrow's cookies, made dinner, and made lemon ricotta muffins.

Oh, the dishes.

And Oh, this post is boring.

Maybe it will be one of those posts that the kids really appreciate when they look back over the blog as adults (ha, like they'll read it).

I do have some pictures, but they're on my phone which is in the other room and Downton Abbey is on, so there's NO WAY I'm going to leave to go get it.