Daycare

Next week we have the unenviable task of looking for daycare for the kiddos. Fortunately we have my brother for awhile to fill in the gaps until we find something, but I'm really not looking forward to the whole process. I've made a few calls and scheduled a few appointments but even though the providers sound nice over the phone, I still feel nervous about leaving my kids with strangers.

I know that I am not the first or the last mom to feel this way, I'd bet 99% of moms feel the same when choosing a daycare provider they haven't known for years... So I'm in good company.

Then someone had the gall to tell me that they'd never put their kids in daycare because they "didn't want someone else to raise their kids" and THEN they said that it was "ok" that moms who "have to work" use daycare because they had a "valid excuse". Yeah. That actually happened.

Bryan and I raise our kids. Daycare does not. Period. Parents who work because they love it and not because they have economic need raise their kids. Parents who have to work because of economic need raise their kids. While I am sure a few shitty parents out there really don't do much parenting when their kids aren't at daycare, those parents are not the norm and assuming they are is some ridiculously twisted logic. If daycare providers are "raising" your kids then so are their school teachers, coaches, and summer camp counselors. No one talks about how 4th grade teachers are "raising" their students, so why do they insist that the daycare lady (or man!) is? It's just bull.

So anyway, now we have to figure out questions to ask and I have to worry about things like "what new 'fun' words will my kids pick up?" "how often will they get sick now?" "what will happen if someone bites my child, or if my child bites someone?" "how can I be sure my kids are never spanked?" "what ideas or concepts will my child learn that I don't sanction?"

There are a lot more.

A lot.

I can't choose a religious daycare because I don't want my kids exposed to religion just yet. They will be eventually it would be impossible to hide it and I have no desire to do so, but it will be something we discuss as a family and not something that they are told is absolute truth when mommy's not around. I have no problem if my children decide to be religious one day, but that day isn't today nor is it tomorrow. I have a feeling most religious parents feel the same way about Atheism. Which is fine, it's a parents prerogative to raise their children with or without religion.

I also need to find a daycare that feels the same way about discipline as I do. i.e. No spanking, ever. We do not spank and I feel very strongly that spanking is both ineffective and counterproductive. It's not legal to spank a non-consenting adult, so why do we spank kids? Hitting is justified when? In the boxing ring and in self defense, neither of which apply to disciplining a child. Of all of the kids I have witnessed receive a spanking during my time working with at risk families, all of them have turned around a hit someone or something else within a few minutes of their punishment. ALL. They hit their siblings, pets, walls, toys, friends, and some have even tried to hit their parents. Not good. So we're a no spanking household. I have yet to personally see it be an effective form of punishment and most studies out there back me up on this one.

Then we get to call references and I have to refrain from asking for fingerprints and background checks for the workers and the parents of all the other kids. Because I'm crazy like that.

I'm sure we'll find a good place, nay, a great place. I'm sure the kids will love it. I'm sure I will cry buckets.

I'm sure that when they're 30 and looking for daycare for their own kids, they will feel the exact same way.

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I cried today

So today was the first time I got emotional about our move. Ive been so incredibly busy since I got offered the job (2 weeks ago!) that I haven't really stopped to let myself do much processing... But today it hit me, in two days we will be leaving Sacramento and all of our family and friends.

Hopefully my parents won't be too far behind us, because we will miss them terribly. Luckily my brother will be spending a few weeks down with us to keep an eye on the munchkins while we search for a daycare that meets my probably unrealistic expectations.

And I know, like I've said in another post, that we'll make new friends. But I really like the ones we have now and I will miss them so much it makes my stomach hurt a little. Penelope will miss them. Griffin will miss them. Bryan will miss them.

But I think I'll miss them most. Mostly because Penelope's memory is rather short. And also because these women helped keep my sane, they donated breast milk to my babies, watched the kids when I was student teaching, were a source of reassurance about whatever parenting issues were on the table, gave me an excuse (nay reason) to leave the house, passed on ideas and tricks, brought over food after G was born, let us borrow toys/clothes, and gave this SAHM a chance to talk to a rational adult during the day.

I hope that the move doesn't mean that I will lose touch with these extraordinary women, thanks to Facebook we will hopefully "see" each other and I've given them all an open invitation to come down and visit (the aquarium isn't more than 20 minutes from us!).

But it's still hard to leave them even though I am so incredibly excited about teaching and living in a new place.

Today was the last Wednesday playgroup that we attends (hence this pst and the tears on the drive home)... And here are some pictures of our crazy and wonderful babies.



Poe and Orson



Griffin and Olivia



Penny and Olivia



Gus



Gus, Angelina, Orson, Oli, Ava, Penny, Griffin, Alina, and Linden (with Mama Alisha). Not pictured, Maddox and Jude. Our friends who didn't make today's group are: Sophia, Elli, Will, Jackson, and Lucy (and their mommies of course). Also? 4 new babies are due in the next few months!

Kim took more pictures and they're probably better ones since a) she uses a real camera and b) she's a much better photographer than I am.

I will miss my mommies!

Tomorrow: the zoo, a visit to my moms work, and dinner with my grandparents. Friday is our last gymnastics class and then we load everything up!

A post on Penny's last dance class will be forthcoming.

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Pre move weekend

It was a busy weekend... My parents took the kids from Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon (and hosted the garage sale, which my grandma was gracious enough to man) so Bryan and I could do the bulk of the packing. We got a least 75% of the house packed, but looking at what's left the number may be closer to 85%. The kids have a few toys and clothes out, I still have some clothes, and we have all our toiletry stuff still to pack... We also kept the TV up and Bryan's computer and desk since he will need that all this week for work.

But everything else is in a box, or at the dump, or at the Goodwill. We may need to make one more dump run because we're getting rid of a lot of stuff. I probably could have tossed more, but I'm a little sentimental. I'm keeping the hats my midwives knitted for the kids, all my old journals (dating back to Junior High), my brownie sash, Conco hardhat, and other miscellaneous items that I never use but couldn't bear to throw away. So a fair amount will stay in boxes until my children have the unenviable take of sorting through it all after I'm dead.

Some they'll love, like my mom's prom dresses or the crystal flutes from our wedding; and some will make them scratch the heads, like college essays and notebooks. But I cant get rid of it.

Some of what I have can be called heirlooms, but most is just sentimental... The journal I made during grief counseling after my grandfather died, a scrap of paper he had written on before his death, his nametag... I h ave a note my junior high school boyfriend passed me in class. And a comic a friend drew, and a flask of my uncles, and handkerchief of my great grandmas.

I have a ridiculous scrapbook I made of the first 6 months of my and Bryan's courtship, including movie tickets from our first date and the boarding passes from our trip to Hawaii.

In sorting through all the stuff, I decided that I am a hoarder of good memories. Even my grief journal is a good memory. The bad stuff I tossed, an apology letter from an ex is one of the things I threw away.

I love the life Bryan and I are making together. I love packing it up into boxes and taking it to some place new where we can watch it grow. I will love unpacking it and arranging it in our new home, the first place we ever decided to live together (since he owned this house before we met). And I will love accumulating new memories that I will hoard and fondly pack away the next time we move.

So happy packing to all my friends who are also moving, may our journeys be safe, fun, and full of love.



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7 Days to Salinas

In just 7 days we will be moving to breezy Salinas, CA. For those who are unfamiliar with California's geography, that's about 10ish miles inland from the Monterey Bay area. The house we've rented is about 7 miles from the beach, a 5 minute car ride.

I was offered a job with Salinas Union High School District, teaching English at Salinas High. The school itself is beautiful, it was redone a few years back. I'm still not sure exactly what grades I'll be teaching, I should find that out August 1st when I start the New Teacher Institute (sounds fun, huh?).

School starts August 10th, so we have little time to pack, move, and I have precious little time to plan. It's both exciting and stressful. I'm really looking forward to having my own classroom... I'm also looking forward to a change in scenery (i.e. weather).

We'll miss our friends terribly though. I'm sure we'll all be able to make new friends, but it will be hard to leave everyone. I think Penelope will have the roughest time with the transition, she *loves* her friends and talks about them all the time. Orson-this, Sophia-that, Linden, Lucy, Gus, Maddox, Ava, Will... the list goes on.

This next week will be the last time we'll be able to go to play groups, meet up at the zoo, and just hang out. I plan on taking as many pictures as possible. You know, in between all the packing.

I will attempt to take and post as many pictures of the move and the new house as I can...

Friends

A picture post. I have a real, lengthy, post brewing all about my new job and our upcoming move but for now, lots of pictures.



Gus, Orson, and Griffin playing with water.



Griffin after attempting to eat the (thankfully) non-toxic paints



Gus on the horse swing



Orson, Penelope, and Ava holding hands as they and Gus ran circles around baby Angelina




Baby Angelina is the calm in the center of the storm

From last weekend (family reunion):



Griffin with his cousin Payton



Some sibling love



Me with cousin Chloe



Penny dancing with Caitlyn



Family!



A very tired Bucky (my parents new dog)



Griffin and Chloe playing



One sacked-out Penelope on the drive home



This spot is about 7 miles from our new house :)

We move in less than 2 weeks!

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Walking in Mommy's shoes

So I realize that letting her walk through the pile of toys could have easily resulted in a sprained ankle, but it didn't. So the video is amusing rather than tragic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRJEHoLy1Zg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

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Spaghetti Boy

Some pictures.













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Something must be wrong with me

I have vacuumed and swept the floors three times this week. Three. That's more than they've been cleaned in the last month (and, if I'm being honest, the last two months). I also moped, but I only did that once.

Why? I have no idea, but I have two theories. One: the closer I get to 30 the more I become my mother. She is the Queen of Clean. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, unlike many women I know, turning into my mother is not an insult. Two: my mom has been gone for a week and I miss her, so I have been trying to channel her energy by eliminating dust bunnies.

It could also be that the kids (i.e. Griffin) are finally old enough to be able to entertain themselves and not be underfoot while I do some chores.

Mind you, sweeping and moping is as far as it has gone. I haven't done anything radical like clean the bathtub. I have done dishes, but I can't really get away with NOT doing the dishes. I've done laundry and diapers too. I'm practically a homemaker. Tomorrow I'm baking a cake for my brothers birthday party, I shall wear an apron in honor of the occasion.

And Griffin, while terrified of the vacuum, is in love with the broom. In.love. He's actually rather helpful, he gets the dust pail and actually attempts to place it on the floor while I sweep up the massive amounts of dog hair. It's sweet.

I'll try and get a picture of him "helping", it just hasn't been convenient to pick up the camera while cleaning.


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